WWE Friday Night SmackDown Results (12/3/21): Brock Lesnar Meets Sami Zayn

WWE Friday Night SmackDown
December 3, 2021
The AT&T Center
San Antonio, Texas

You can follow me on Twitter @JoshLopezMedia

Commentators (Michael Cole & Pat McAfee)

Transcription by Josh Lopez

Brock Lesnar & Sami Zayn Segment 

Brock Lesnar: So you’ve caught on that my suspension has been lifted. I’m here tonight for one reason and one reason only, the Universal Championship. Now, you may have asked yourself, how exactly I got my suspension lifted?

Sami Zayn: Hey, wait. Brock Lesnar, oh, man, this is so great. Finally, at long last, our paths are crossing. You know, I feel like it’s been a long time coming. I feel like in some many ways, our careers have been so parallel. Well, minus a couple UFC Heavyweight Championships and a couple of WrestleMania main events. But besides that, there are a lot of similarities.

Could you give me a second, I’m trying to talk to Brock. We have a lot in common, we really do. We are two Canadian alpha males, just doing their thing, you know. And, really, look, no disrespect, no funny business, I’m just here to tell you, man to man, I’m a fan. I’m a fan. I respect your body of work. This look you got going on, I love it. This topknot thing, you should have done it years ago.

Brock Lesnar: Shut up. I’m confused. I haven’t the slightest idea of who the hell you are. Pardon my ignorance. I’m sorry. You’re a fan? You’re a fan of me?

Sami Zayn: I’m a lot of things. Brock, I’m the master strategist.

Brock Lesnar: Shut up. Let me tell you something. You got a lot of balls coming out here interrupting me. You see, I live in Saskatchewan. I am from Canada. I hunt things in Saskatchewan. I kill things in Saskatchewan. I eat things in Saskatchewan. Now tell me, who the hell you are and why I haven’t ripped your head off?

Sami Zayn: That’s a valid question. That is a valid question, and it deserves an answer. I will give it to you. I am the elder statesman of SmackDown. I’m the locker room leader. Most importantly, I am the number one contender for the Universal Championship. Yeah. Against all odds, I won a battle royal against 20 other men. I’m next in line to take on Roman Reigns.

Brock Lesnar: Let me get this straight. I get suspended, and you become the number one contender?

Sami Zayn: I guess it is kind of funny, right? Maybe not a knee slapper. It’s good. Yes, yes, to answer your question, Brock, listen, I am the number one contender. Once I defeat Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship at Day One, I am happy to roll out the red carpet.

Brock Lesnar: At Day One? You are going to wrestle Roman Reigns at Day One?

Brock convinces Zayn to fight Roman Reigns tonight to close the segment.

First Match: Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler 

Sasha side steps Baszler into the turnbuckles. Sasha with a forearm smash. Sasha slams Baszler’s head on the top turnbuckle pad. Sasha slaps Baszler in the chest. Sasha goes for The Lucha Libre Arm-Drag, but Baszler counters with The Kirifuda Clutch. Sasha with an arm-drag escape. Baszler drops Sasha with The Mid-Kick. Sasha avoids The Elbow Stomp. Sasha with The Satellite Arm-Drag. Sasha slides out of the ring. Baszler applies The Ankle Lock. Sasha sends Baszler face first into the ring apron. Sasha with a Modified Tiger Feint Kick. Sasha with a Flying Meteora off the apron. Sasha rolls Baszler back into the ring. Sasha hooks the inside leg for a two count. Baszler regains control of the match during the commercial break. Sasha side steps Baszler into the turnbuckles. Baszler with a shoulder block. Sasha drives Baszler face first into the top turnbuckle pad.

Sasha with a Rebound Meteora. Baszler answers with a Rising Knee Strike. Baszler hits The GutWrench Slam for a two count. Baszler toys around with Sasha. Sasha slaps Baszler in the face. Sasha with two overhand chops. Sasha with an arm-drag takeover. Sasha blocks a boot from Baszler. Sasha with a knee lift. Sasha rocks Baszler with a forearm smash. Sasha with a double knee drop for a two count. Baszler denies The Tornado DDT. Baszler with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Sasha drives Baszler face first into the middle turnbuckle pad. Sasha drops Baszler with The Tornado DDT for a two count. Baszler kicks Sasha in the face. Sasha dodges The Rising Knee Strike. Sasha goes for The Cazadora Bulldog, but Baszler counters with The Kirifuda Clutch. Sasha rolls Baszler over for a two count. Sasha applies The Bank Statement. Baszler sends Sasha face first into the canvas. Baszler connects with The Running Knee. Baszler goes for The GutWrench PowerBomb, but Sasha counters with The Hurricanrana to pickup the victory.

Winner: Sasha Banks via Pinfall 

Second Match: The Viking Raiders vs. Los Lotharios 

Erik and Angel Garza will start things off. Erik with The Uranage Slam. Erik blasts Carrillo off the ring apron. Erik launches Garza to the corner. Erik tags in Ivar. Ivar bodyslams Garza. Erik bodyslams Ivar on top of Garza. Ivar tags in Erik. Ivar levels Garza with The Body Avalanche. Erik with a Shotgun Knee Strike.

Ivar goes for The Bronco Buster, but Carrillo pulls Garza out of the way. Erik brings Carrillo into the ring. Carrillo ducks a clothesline from Erik. Carrillo lands The Suicide Dive. Garza SuperKicks Erik. Carrillo tags himself in. Carrillo applies The Muta Lock. Garza talks smack to Erik. Garza gets distracted by Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs. Erik knocks Garza off the apron. Carrillo rolls Erik over with a handful of tights to pickup the victory.

Winner: Los Lotharios via Pinfall 

Third Match: King Woods w/Kofi Kingston vs. Jey Uso w/Jimmy Uso

Jey kicks Woods in the gut. Jey with two haymakers. Jey whips Woods into the turnbuckles. Jey stomps on Woods face. Jey applies a waist lock. Woods decks Jey with a back elbow smash. Jey with a Pop Up NeckBreaker for a two count. Jey goes for The Running Stinkface, but Woods ducks out of the way. Woods with a chop/haymaker combination. Woods whips Jey across the ring. Woods drops Jey with a Leg Lariat. Jey with the irish whip. Woods kicks Jey in the face.

Woods delivers The Honor Roll. Woods ducks under two clotheslines from Jey. Woods slides under Jey. Woods scores the forearm knockdown. Jimmy pulls Woods off the ring apron which causes the disqualification. After the match, Kofi drops Jimmy with a Flying Clothesline off the steel ring steps. Kofi is raining down haymakers. Jey rolls Kofi back into the ring. Kofi ducks a clothesline from Jey. Kofi connects with The Trouble In Paradise. Woods drives Jimmy back first into the turnbuckles. New Day gangs up on Jimmy. The Usos retreats to the backstage area.

Winner: King Woods via Disqualification

Charlotte Flair & Toni Storm Segment 

Charlotte Flair: San Antonio, Texas. Wow, that feisty Toni Storm had a lot to say. I don’t know where to begin. Actually, you know what? I do. We can all agree that the only way to get noticed in this women’s division is by challenging Charlotte Flair. The most decorated woman in sports entertainment history. So whether that’s bringing up my name every five seconds in an interview or begging for a title opportunity, I know exactly what Toni Storm is doing. Number one doesn’t talk about number two, six or ten. Even acknowledging Toni feels like I’m giving her too much credit. You know what Toni Storm should be doing? She should be thanking me. I did her a favor last week.

Toni Storm was the talk of the town because Charlotte Flair smashed not one but two pies in her face. You’re welcome. I mean, I thought it was funny. I know all of you thought it was funny. I know everyone at home laughing because they thought it was funny. No? Here’s the thing, Toni cna shower off the pie. But she cannot rinse the stink of embarrassment off of her. If it was that easy to embarrass Toni Storm with a pie, imagine what I could do to her in this ring. So we all know I’m about uplifting the other women in the locker room. But what I said to Toni Storm about not being on my level, it wasn’t mean. It wasn’t conniving. It’s simply a fact. One plus one equals two. Toni Storm demanding a title opportunity, it doesn’t add up. So I came all the way out here to show my respect to Toni to let her know I considered her challenge. You want to know what the answer is? No.

Toni Storm smashed a pie into Charlotte’s face on the ramp way to close the segment.

– Ricochet Vignette.

Fourth Match: Cesaro vs. Sheamus w/Ridge Holland

Ridge Holland is watching the match from the backstage area. Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Sheamus with a side headlock takeover. Cesaro answers with the headscissors neck lock. Cesaro applies a waist lock. Sheamus backs Cesaro into the turnbuckles. Sheamus with clubbing elbow smashes in the corner. Uppercut Exchange. Sheamus with two forearm smashes. Sheamus hits The Irish Curse BackBreaker. Sheamus poses for the crowd. Ten Beats Of The Bodhran. Sheamus rocks Cesaro with a forearm smash. Sheamus with The Rolling Senton for a two count. Sheamus stomps on Cesaro’s fingers. Sheamus fish hooks Cesaro. The referee admonishes Sheamus. Cesaro gets back to a vertical base.

Cesaro with combination forearms. Cesaro tees off on Sheamus. Cesaro clotheslines Sheamus over the top rope. Cesaro with a Running European Uppercut into the time keepers area. Cesaro is fired up. Cesaro repeatedly slams Sheamus head on the announce table. Cesaro rolls Sheamus back into the ring. Cesaro kicks Sheamus in the face. Sheamus drops Cesaro with The Pump Knee Strike for a two count. Sheamus with clubbing knee drops. Sheamus talks smack to Cesaro. Cesaro says that Sheamus was like a brother to him. Cesaro clotheslines Sheamus. Cesaro with a Double Foot Stomp. Sheamus denies The Neutralizer. Sheamus goes for a Back Body Drop, but Cesaro lands back on his feet. Sheamus side steps Cesaro into the turnbuckles. Sheamus connects with The Brogue Kick to pickup the victory.

Winner: Sheamus via Pinfall 

Updated WWE Day 1 Match Card 

1.) Big E (c) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens In A Triple Threat Match For The WWE Championship

2.) Roman Reigns (c) w/Paul Heyman vs. Brock Lesnar For The WWE Universal Championship

3.) The Usos (c) vs. The New Day For The WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship

Fifth Match: Roman Reigns (c) w/Paul Heyman & The Usos vs. Sami Zayn For The WWE Universal Championship 

The Usos helps Zayn get back on his feet before the bell rings. Reigns connects with The Spear. Reigns makes Zayn tap out to The Guillotine Choke.

Winner: Still WWE Universal Champion, Roman Reigns via Submission 

Checkout Episode 286 of The Hoots Podcast 

Author: Josh Lopez