WWE Friday Night SmackDown
July 30, 2021
You can follow me on Twitter @JoshLopezMedia
Transcription by Josh Lopez
John Cena & Baron Corbin Segment
John Cena: Interesting video, indeed. Side note, if you can find someone who makes missionary position entertaining for two decades, keep them in your life, it’s worth it, I promise. Now, with that out of the way, Twin Cities, welcome to SmackDown. And what the hell is going on here tonight? Tonight, Roman Reigns signs a contract with Finn Balor for the Universal Championship at SummerSlam, Well, I only think that’s half bad. Much respect to Balor, but it also proves my point that Roman Reigns absolutely sucks. And he sucks because, behind of that passive aggressive false confidence, Roman Reigns is just a scared little kid. No, forreal. So, Roman Reigns accepts Finn Balor’s challenge, right? And Roman Reigns rejects me. Now, trust me, man, I don’t have any problem with rejection, I’ve been rejected in front of the world, you were there for that, it was ugly. It was his reasons, I mean, did you see that video? He rejected me because I didn’t change my music, I didn’t change my look, and I didn’t change who I was, right here.
That is so stupid. That is like asking, Stone Cold Steve Austin, to come back to the WWE as Sasquatch Steve Houston. The Rock, finally came back to the WWE, he would come back as Dwayne Too Small Johnson. And instead of saying, if you smell what The Rock is cooking, he would say like, well, do you consensually touch what the small Johnson is barely holding? You see, it’s ridiculous, it’s ridiculous because that’s not who those guys are. You know it, they know it, and they believe it, and they stand proud in this ring every single night. They do not beg you to acknowledge that. They allow you to make some noise, they allow you to show some life, they allow you to cheer, they allow you to boo, hell, they even allow you to get out of your seats and be electric.
And they simply do their best each time, to earn your respect. You see, Roman Reigns expected me to change because that’s what Roman Reigns has to do. You’re gonna like this one, Roman Reigns has to change every two years because you people stop caring about him. You people stop caring about him because you don’t believe in him. And you don’t believe in him, because Roman Reigns doesn’t believe in himself, believe that. Roman Reigns is nothing more than a lazy stooge named Joe, who coasts by on every gimmick in the system, and is nothing more than a blood sucking product of this machine who is so afraid to fail. Roman, I would’ve embarrassed your ass at SummerSlam, and you know it. You didn’t reject me because how I looked, you’re afraid to fight me because you know how I would make you look.
Baron Corbin comes out to interrupt Cena. He’s seeking money from John Cena and a potential role in The Suicide Squad. Cena drops Corbin with The Attitude Adjustment.
First Match: Rey Mysterio w/Dominik Mysterio vs. Jimmy Uso w/Jey Uso
— WWE (@WWE) July 31, 2021
Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Jimmy applies a side headlock. Rey whips Jimmy across the ring. Jimmy drops Rey with a shoulder tackle. Jimmy is fired up. Jimmy grabs a side headlock. Rey whips Jimmy across the ring. Rey drops down on the canvas. Jimmy ducks a clothesline from Rey. Jimmy thrust kicks the midsection of Rey. Jimmy whips Rey across the ring. Rey with a Tilt-A-Whirl Headscissors Takeover. Rey transitions into a corner mount. Rey with The Bulldog for a two count. Jey drives Rey face first into the top turnbuckle pad for a one count. Jimmy applies a rear chin lock. Rey with elbows into the midsection of Jimmy. Jimmy uppercuts Rey. Rey with a low bridge. Rey dropkicks Jimmy off the ring apron. Jimmy avoids The Sliding Splash. Jimmy SuperKicks Rey. Jimmy has complete control of the match during the commercial break.
Jimmy applies a rear chin lock. Rey gets back to a vertical base. Rey kicks Jimmy in the chest. Jimmy goes for a sunset flip, but Rey counters with a Roundhouse Kick. Jimmy launches Rey over the top rope. Rey with a leaping forearm smash. Rey blocks a boot from Jimmy. Jimmy with a Spinning Enzuigiri. Jimmy has Rey perched on the top turnbuckle. Rey denies The SuperPlex. Rey with Two HeadButts. Rey with a Flying Seated Senton. Rey ducks a clothesline from Jimmy. Rey with a SpringBoard Crossbody Block for a two count. Jimmy side steps Rey into the turnbuckles. Jimmy with an Apron Enzuigiri. Rey denies The Samoan Drop. Rey dropkicks the left knee of Jimmy. Rey goes for The 619, but Jey pulls Jimmy out of the ring. Rey with a Slingshot Corkscrew Plancha. Rey rolls Jimmy back into the ring. Rey sends Jimmy to the middle rope. Jey continues to run interference. Rey kicks Jey in the back. Jimmy negates The 619. Jimmy goes for The Samoan Drop, but Rey counters with The Assisted Rolling Crucifix to pickup the victory.
Winner: Rey Mysterio via Pinfall
Bianca BelAir, Carmella, Zelina Vega and Sasha Banks Segment
Second Match: Reginald Thomas (c) vs. Chad Gable w/Otis Dozovic For The WWE 24/7 Championship
— WWE (@WWE) July 31, 2021
Dozovic drops Reginald with The Body Avalanche before the bell rings. Gable with a throat chop. Gable unloads two knife edge chops. Gable whips Reginald across the ring. Gable clotheslines Reginald. Gable with The Bridging Northern Lights Suplex for a two count. Gable with the irish whip. Reginald showcases his athleticism. Reginald matrix under two clotheslines from Gable. Reginald thrust kicks the midsection of Gable.
Gable with The Electric Chair Drop. Gable hits The Bridging Tiger Suplex for a two count. Gable puts Reginald on the top turnbuckle. Reginald decks Gable with a back elbow smash. Gable punches Reginald in the back. Gable goes for an Avalanche German Suplex, but Reginald lands back on his feet. Reginald side steps Gable into the turnbuckles. Reginald with a SomerSault Banzai Drop. Otis attacks Reginald from behind which causes the disqualification. After the match. Dozovic launches Reginald over the top rope.
Winner: Still WWE 24/7 Champion, Reginald Thomas via Disqualification
Roman Reigns, Finn Balor, John Cena, and King Corbin Segment
Roman Reigns: We’ve already seen Mr. Missionary tonight. As a matter of fact, Finn, did you catch his opening promo? You know what he said, right? John said, that by accepting your challenge, I’m ducking him. I’m ducking him, so that means, he thinks you’re lesser than him, you’re a lesser man than he is, that’s what he thinks, that’s what he said. I’d boo, too, it’s a jerk thing to say. But I don’t think this. I think you’re worthy.
I think you’re worthy to challenge for the Universal Championship. And I think you’re worthy to catch this beat down at SummerSlam. But just for the record, I don’t think you’re anything like John. You don’t come out here with that same ole tired schtick that’s not working anymore, so you’ve got to reference other superstars and run their catchphrase, no, that’s not you, no. You’re hungry. You want it. And I dig that about you. So, I have to say this, if you sign this contract, I’m gonna smash you and send you right back to NXT.
– Roman Reigns signs the contract.
Finn Balor: You think pretty highly of yourself, don’t you, Roman? And perhaps, justifiably so. But it will be my privilege to return to NXT, once again, Universal Champion.
Baron Corbin attacks Balor from behind. Corbin dumps Balor out of the ring. Corbin is raining down haymakers. Corbin launches Balor into the time keepers table. Corbin grabs the contract. John Cena storms into the ring. Cena kicks Corbin in the gut. Cena sends Corbin shoulder first into the steel ring post. Cena signs the contract. The match is official. At SummerSlam, Roman Reigns versus John Cena For The WWE Universal Championship
Third Match: Big E, Cesaro, and Shinsuke Nakamura w/Rick Boogs vs. Apollo Crews, Dolph Ziggler, and Robert Roode w/Commander Azeez In A 6-Man Tag Team Match
— WWE (@WWE) July 31, 2021
Big E and Apollo Crews will start things off. Big E with an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Crews with a knee lift. Crews dumps Big E out of the ring. SpineBuster/Zig Zag Combination on the floor. Team Big E regains control of the match during the commercial break. Big E tags in Cesaro. Cesaro with a running uppercut. Cesaro kicks Crews off the ring apron. Cesaro clotheslines Ziggler for a two count. Cesaro delivers The Cesaro Swing. Cesaro applies The Sharpshooter. Roode pulls Ziggler to the bottom rope. Cesaro punches Roode. Cesaro tags in Nakamura. Flying Knee Strike/GutWrench Suplex Combination for a two count.
Nakamura goes for The Kinshasa, but Ziggler counters with The Zig Zag. Ziggler tags in Crews. Crews with The Standing MoonSault for a two count. Roode hits The SpineBuster. Big E responds with The Big Ending. Ziggler with The Famouser. Nakamura drops Ziggler with a Step Through Kick. Crews with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Crews with a Release German Suplex for a two count. Crews ascends to the top turnbuckle. Crews gets distracted by Boogs. Commander Azeez throws Boogs into the announce table. Cesaro with a Running Uppercut. Ziggler SuperKicks Cesaro. Crews goes for The Frog Splash, but Nakamura ducks out of the way. Nakamura connects with The Kinshasa to pickup the victory.
Winner: Big E, Cesaro, and Shinsuke Nakamura via Pinfall
— WWE (@WWE) July 31, 2021
Updated WWE SummerSlam 2021 Match Card
1.) Roman Reigns (c) w/Paul Heyman vs. John Cena For The WWE Universal Championship
2.) Nikki Cross (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Rhea Ripley In A Triple Threat Match For The WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Fifth Match: Bianca BelAir & Sasha Banks vs. Carmella & Zelina Vega
— WWE (@WWE) July 31, 2021
Bianca BelAir and Carmella will start things off. BelAir dropkicks Carmella. BelAir pops back on her feet. BelAir buries her shoulder into the midsection of Carmella. BelAir tags in Sasha. Double Irish Whip. Double Shoulder Tackle for a one count. Sasha goes for a Bodyslam, but Carmella lands back on her feet. Carmella pulls Sasha down to the mat for a one count. Carmella slams Sasha’s head on the top turnbuckle pad. Carmella with clubbing elbow smashes. Carmella thrust kicks the midsection of Sasha. Carmella mocks BelAir. Carmella tags in Vega. Carmella and Vega goes for a Double Vertical Suplex, but BelAir gets in the way. Stereo Dropkicks. Sasha with a Double Wrecking Ball Dropkick. Assisted Military Press Slam off the steel ring steps. Sasha rolls Vega back into the ring.
Carmella and Vega regains control of the match during the commercial break. Vega punches BelAir in the back. Vega kicks BelAir in the chest. Vega applies The Octopus Stretch. Vega slams BelAir’s head on the top turnbuckle pad. Vega tags in Carmella. Carmella repeatedly stomps on BelAir’s chest. Carmella is choking BelAir with her boot. BelAir clotheslines Carmella. Carmella tags in Vega. Vega stops BelAir in her tracks. Vega with clubbing blows to BelAir’s back. Vega goes back to The Octopus Stretch. BelAir creates distance with The Tilt-A-Whirl BackBreaker. BelAir tags in Sasha. Sasha with a Running Meteora. Sasha knocks Carmella off the ring apron.
Sasha with two dropkicks. Sasha with The Three Amigos. Sasha drags Vega to the corner. Sasha lands The Frog Splash for a two count. Carmella SuperKicks Sasha. Vega tags in Carmella. Carmella kicks Sasha in the face. Carmella drops Sasha with The Mella Buster for a two count. BelAir kicks Vega in the gut. BelAir dumps Vega out of the ring. Carmella tugs on Sasha’s hair. Sasha connects with The Backstabber. Sasha makes Carmella tap out to The Bank Statement. After the match, Sasha drops BelAir with The Backstabber. Sasha transitions into a ground and pound attack. Sasha talks smack to BelAir. Sasha with forearm shivers. Sasha plants BelAir with The Tornado DDT. Sasha makes BelAir pass out to The Bank Statement to close the show.
Winner: Bianca BelAir & Sasha Banks via Submission
Checkout Episode 268 of The Hoots Podcast