March 30, 2020
WWE Performance Center
You can follow me on Twitter @TheHootsPodcast
Transcription by Josh Lopez
The Undertaker Promo
AJ Styles, or should I say, Allen Jones? I mean, since we’re getting real now. You know, for such a small man, you got a really big mouth. And I don’t know if you have a big set or you just really that stupid. Either way, your mouth’s writing checks your ass can’t cash. I’m sure you thought by dropping some pipe bombs, you’d get under my skin. Son, I’ve heard a lot worst from far better than you. And although I must admit, there are some truths to what you’ve been saying. You said maybe 10/15 years ago, you probably wouldn’t want to try me, you’re damn right you wouldn’t want to.
You were content being a big fish in a little pond because you knew back then you didn’t have what it takes to hang with The Undertaker, Stone Cold, The Rock, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Kurt Angle, Mick Foley, Eddie Guerrero, Booker T, Edge, the very best this business had to offer. The Phenomenal One, my ass. You waited until they were all gone, except for me. Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve got far more matches behind me than I do in front of me, but Allen, you stepped into something now there’s no coming back from. Your foolish pride is making really bad decisions for you. All the things you said about me, I get it, I do, it’s just business. Where you crossed the line though, was the first time you mentioned her.
I think your pride is playing games with you again. I think you’re mad because she does, The FaithBreaker aka The Styles Clash better than you do, she got it over. No matter the reason, you’re gonna pay the ultimate price for disrespecting her, my wife, Michelle McCool. And you’re gonna pay that price in a boneyard. Remember, that was your idea. You want to be relevant at the showcase of immortals, WrestleMania? Who better to make that happen than The Undertaker? Try me, i’ll make you famous. And I hope you bring those two ass clowns Gallows and Anderson with you. All three of you could feel the raft of the unholy trinity i’m bringing with me. Just know, you will feel the pain, you will get hurt and you will suffer. And most importantly, you will, REST. IN. PEACE !!!!
– We get a replay of the historic Ronda Rousey/Charlotte Flair/Becky Lynch Winner Takes All Triple Threat Mach From WrestleMania 35.
— WWE (@WWE) March 31, 2020
Becky Lynch & Shayna Baszler Segment
At last year’s WrestleMania Main Event, I fought two champions in one match. Charlotte Flair was the SmackDown Women’s Champion and Ronda Rousey was the Raw Women’s Champion. The stakes for me couldn’t been higher. I talked a lot of trash, I made some bold predictions, I attacked those two fools any chance I got, and i’ve been walking that razor blade lifestyle ever since, let’s take a look. That’s the first time I watched that back. Now, in the last year i’ve learned that history tends to follow the one who made it. Turns out, I also get followed by dopes who can’t seem to make their own.
Since that match happened, a lot of people have tried to take this from me. And Shayna Baszler, she thinks that she’s different, she has an edge because she’s a killer, the one who wiped out the entire division. She even said last week that, taking this from me, would destroy me. Well, she’s right, it would. Look, we all get into this business because we have demons to slay, things to prove. I have no problem admitting that I don’t know who I am without being the champ anymore. But don’t think Shayna, that I don’t know about your demons too. You walk around here all cool, with your low voice, your cage fighter resume and your top pocket, but I can see last week, i’m starting to get to you, ain’t I?
Like all the rest that i’ve faced, you’re gonna come in, fighting from emotion, hoping that if you beat me, you’ll finally do the one thing that your pal Ronda Rousey couldn’t do and that’s your demon, Shayna. I can see it. I can see the relief, the exhilaration that you will get when you beat me, if you beat me, as if for once, you’ll steal Ronda’s spotlight instead of the other way around. At last, you’ll be seen as the supreme world class athlete that you are or you lose and get put back in Ronda’s shadow. So tell me, Shayna, when you talk about one of us losing at WrestleMania and being destroyed by it, which one of us do you mean exactly?
From behind, Baszler applies The Kirifuda Clutch. Baszler is trying to put Becky to sleep. Baszler slams Becky’s head on the announce table. Baszler swings Becky against the announce table. Baszler drops the Raw Women’s Championship on top of Becky to close the segment.
First Match: Aleister Black vs. Jason Cade
— WWE (@WWE) March 31, 2020
Black avoids The Running Boot from Cade. Black dodges multiple strikes from Cade. Black sweeps out the legs of Cade. Black is playing mind games with Cade. Black blocks a boot from Cade. Black with a RoundHouse Kick to the right wrist of Cade. Black connects with Black Mass to pickup the victory.
Winner: Aleister Black via Pinfall
Second Match: Kevin Owens & The Street Profits vs. Seth Rollins, Austin Theory and Angel Garza w/Zelina Vega in a 6-Man Tag Team Match
— WWE (@WWE) March 31, 2020
Owens and Theory will start things off. Theory shoves Owens. Theory tells Owens to pay attention to him. Owens drops Theory with a forearm smash. Owens blasts Theory with a knife edge chop. Owens delivers rapid fire bodyshots in the corner. Owens stomps on Theory’s chest. Owens talks smack to Rollins. Simultaneous tag to Ford. Ford drops down on the canvas. Dawkins drops Theory with a shoulder tackle. Assisted Standing MoonSault. Double FlapJack on top of Theory. Ford lands The SomerSault Plancha. Ford is fired up. Garza with a knife edge chop. Garza whips Ford across the ring. Ford shows off his athleticism. Ford leapfrogs over Garza. Garza dropkicks Ford. Garza rips off his pants. Garza throws his pants at Ford. Garza follows that with a basement dropkick.
Garza tags in Theory. Theory delivers a gut punch. Theory with a Snap Vertical Suplex for a two count. Theory applies the cobra clutch. Ford reverses out of the irish whip from Theory. Theory with a Roll Through Dropkick for a two count. Theory with forearm shivers. Theory hammers down on the back of Ford’s neck. Theory punches Ford in the back. Theory goes for a Belly to Back Suplex, but Ford lands back on his feet. Ford ducks a clothesline from Theory. Ford tags in Dawkins. Dawkins clears the ring. Dawkins with The Exploder Suplex. Rollins made the blind tag. Dawkins lands The 360 Stinger Splash. Dawkins goes for The Running Bulldog, but Theory blocks it. Dawkins drops Garza with a shoulder tackle on the floor. Dawkins ducks a clothesline from Theory. Dawkins hits The Pounce. Rollins SuperKicks Dawkins.
Rollins taunts Owens. Rollins repeatedly stomps on Dawkins chest. Rollins with two forearm smashes. Rollins uses the middle rope as a weapon. Garza kicks Dawkins in the face. Rollins tags in Theory. Theory scores another gut punch. Rollins with a straight right hand. Theory toys around with Dawkins. Theory stomps on Dawkins back. Theory applies a rear chin lock. Theory transitions into a front face lock. Theory tags in Garza. Garza kicks the left hamstring of Dawkins. Garza applies the camel clutch. Garza with a Seated Senton across the back of Dawkins. Garza applies a front face lock. Garza tags in Rollins. Rollins kicks Dawkins in the ribs. Following a snap mare takeover, Rollins kicks Dawkins in the back. Rollins fish hooks Dawkins. Rollins with a high elbow smash. Rollins applies a rear chin lock. Rollins follows that with a front face lock.
Dawkins gets back to a vertical base. Rollins drives his knee into the midsection of Dawkins. Rollins knocks Ford off the ring apron. Owens begs Rollins to hit him. Dawkins rolls Rollins over for a two count. Rollins hits The SlingBlade. Rollins transitions into a ground and pound attack. Dawkins denies The SuperKick. Dawkins creates distance with a right jab. Owens and Garza are tagged in. Owens ducks a clothesline from Garza. Owens with a chop/forearm combination. Garza kicks Owens in the chest. Owens clotheslines Garza. Owens follows that with a Senton Splash. Owens with The Running Cannonball Strike. Owens lands The Swanton Bomb for a two count. Ford drops Theory with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Ford goes for The SomerSault Plancha, but Theory ducks out of the way. Garza rolls Owens over for a two count. Owens SuperKicks Garza. Owens connects with The Stunner to pickup the victory. After the match, Rollins plants Owens with The Curb Stomp.
Winner: Kevin Owens & The Street Profits via Pinfall
Kevin Owens Promo
You know Seth, I think you just kicked some sense into me, no pun intended. Because I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said last week and after what just happened, I have a lot to say and I know you’re watching, so listen up. Last Monday, you walked around this place and said, that while you never trained here, this building was built because of you. You said that everybody that came through this place should be thankful for you. You said this building was built on your blood, sweat, and tears, built on your back, but I’ve actually heard otherwise. See, I heard that this place was built despite of you. I heard that from the moment you set foot in that warehouse in Tampa that you mentioned, you were a nightmare to deal with. You knew everything about everything, you were better than everyone else, nobody could stand you. And I gotta say, Seth, these past few months, you’ve done an outstanding job proving everyone right when they said, that all you are, is an arrogant dipshit.
But look, I’m well aware of my past. Okay, i’m well aware of my reputation and what people could say because of the path that I have chosen. But the difference between you and I is that, I am not delusional like you. I have been saying you are delusional for a long time and last week you proved me right. You did, because you talked about all those WrestleMania moments you’ve had, right? You said that when it comes to WrestleMania, what did you call yourself, oh, yeah, you’re a god and that I’m just a disappointment. I got to admit man, those words actually stung, they did, they’ve stayed with me. But when I was at home thinking about all this stuff, it occurred to me, just how askew your view of reality really is, because while I may not have all those WrestleMania moments that you do, I can claim that same accolades that you claim. I have been Intercontinental Champion, twice. I have been United States Champion, three times. I have been Universal Champion. In fact, I was Universal Champion well before you. And those WrestleMania moments you talk about, see, all the accomplishments I just listed that I have, well i’m man enough to admit that I didn’t get them on my own. No, because I had someone watching my back or helping me for each of them, one way or another and so did you.
I’m sorry to bust your bubble, but those WrestleMania moments you’re so proud of, none of them you’ve accomplished on your own. You have always had backup and if you didn’t have backup, you found some underhanded way to get what you want. And look, i’m not saying that you shouldn’t be proud of those moments, all i’m saying is that you need to be honest with yourself. Because the only thing you said last week that actually makes sense, is that when you got to WWE, you were told that nothing yo accomplished before you got here matters. Your past no longer matters and that will never be more true than come Saturday at WrestleMania. Because on Saturday, when you and I get in this ring together, your past doesn’t matter, my past doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is that, it’s you and me finally, one on one. And Seth, this Saturday night I will show you, you are not a prophet, you are not a messiah, you are not a god when I beat you in the middle of this ring and I take my first WrestleMania from you. Because this Saturday, I will be the one to burn it down.
– Video package on the Edge/Randy Orton Rivalry.
Randy, you said that Adam Copeland is a junkie for Edge. You’re probably right. But it’s not an ego thing, it’s not about ego. See, I just love the feeling that happens in an arena, that explosion when my music hits. That connection, that raw connection, that intensity that I share with our audience because I’m one of them, I came from them. You know, let’s face it man, we’re all junkies for this. As a thirteen year old kid, sitting 11th row ringside for WrestleMania XI, Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior, I knew then. If you’re not a junkie for this, then you’re just taking up space, you’re in my way. You talk about grit, right? Clearly we have different definitions of the word, grit. To you, grit seems to be you know, hand picked by Evolution, that represents grit to you. You’re resting on the laurels of your family name. Coasting, off and on with spurts of magic for the last 20 years, just okay with being okay.
Don’t get me wrong, okay for you is better than most and that’s a hall of fame career. But to me, grit is a type of a man that would reach down in that hole, that would pull someone out who probably doesn’t deserve it. To me, grit is refusing to be in evolution because you don’t want to be someone’s lackey. To me, grit is forging your own hall of fame career. To me, grit is thinking about how to get back to your everyday for nine years and end this on your terms. You know, I was mistaken, I was wrong. I said that you were jealous of me, right? You’re not jealous of me, you’re jealous of my passion. See, because you can’t fabricate passion, you have it or you don’t, and I have it Randy. And the only time that you have it is when i’m around. I make you better. I push you, I motivate you, I light a fire under you and everyone else sees it, but you. Everyone is talking about it, they know, this is the best Randy Orton has ever been. The last time Randy Orton scratched being this good, was nine years ago.
That scares you. I inspire that passion in you and that feeling scares you. You don’t know what to do with it. If anything, you’re a junkie for the way I make you feel. But you listen to the voices in your head, right? Those voices, they’re afraid of this feeling, they can’t handle this feeling. What did they tell you to do? They told you to make a horrible mistake, Randy and you listened. You attacked my pack. You almost had me believing that maybe the Royal Rumble, maybe that was enough closure for me, but then you put your hands on my wife. You uttered the names of my little girls and you pulled me back in. You accepted a last man standing match with me, a man who will dive face first into a flaming table with thumbtacks lodged into every part of my body, just to grab that torch that you took for granted. You dug yourself another hole, didn’t you Randy? This time, I’m not gonna pull you back out, I am gonna push you so far in, you will never get back out.
Third Match: Asuka vs. Kayden Carter
— WWE (@WWE) March 31, 2020
Asuka talks smack to Carter. Nobody is ready for Asuka. Carter starts things off with a running dropkick. Carter with forearm shivers. Carter applies a wrist lock. Asuka reverses out of the irish whip from Carter. Asuka drops Carter with The Hip Attack. Asuka toys around with Carter. Carter blocks a boot from Asuka. Standing Switch Exchange. Carter crawls under Asuka. Carter with The O’Connor Roll for a two count. Carter follows that with The SpringBoard Basement Dropkick for a two count. Carter goes for a Big Boot, but Asuka counters with The Ankle Lock. Asuka connects with The German Suplex. Asuka drops Carter with a RoundHouse Kick. Asuka makes Carter tap out to The Asuka Lock.
Winner: Asuka via Submission
– We get a replay of the Brock Lesnar/Rey Mysterio No Holds Barred WWE Championship Match From WWE Survivor Series 2019.
— WWE (@WWE) March 31, 2020
Updated WrestleMania 36 Match Card
1.) Becky Lynch (c) vs. Shayna Baszler For The WWE Raw Women’s Championship
2.) John Cena vs. “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt in a Firefly FunHouse Match
3.) The Undertaker vs. AJ Styles in a BoneYard Match
4.) Rhea Ripley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair For The WWE NXT Women’s Championship
5.) Goldberg (c) vs. Roman Reigns For The WWE Universal Championship
6.) Brock Lesnar (c) w/Paul Heyman vs. Drew McIntyre For The WWE Championship
7.) Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins w/Buddy Murphy
8.) Edge vs. Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing Match
9.) Bayley (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Lacey Evans vs. Naomi vs. Tamina Snuka in a Fatal Five Way Elimination Match For The WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship
10.) The Miz & John Morrison (c) vs. The New Day vs. The Usos in a Triple Threat Ladder Match For The WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
11.) Aleister Black vs. Bobby Lashley w/Lana
12.) The Street Profits (c) vs. Angel Garza & Austin Theory w/Zelina Vega For The WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
13.) King Corbin vs. Elias
14.) Sami Zayn (c) w/Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan w/Drew Gulak For The WWE Intercontinental Championship
15.) Otis Dozovic w/Tucker Knight vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Mandy Rose
16.) The Kabuki Warriors (c) vs. Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross For The WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship
Paul Heyman Promo
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. And I am the advocate for your reigning, defending, undisputed, WWE Heavyweight Champion of the world, Brock Lesnar. I hate to be the one that ever pulls back the curtain on this industry, I believe in the magic of WWE. I love being in a business where we take larger than life personalities and we embellish and we exaggerate and we market and we promote them to a global audience. This is the final segment of the final Monday Night Raw before this years WrestleMania, the most unique WrestleMania of our lifetimes. And not just because it’s the only WrestleMania that’s too big for just one night, we are all living through the most unique of time in our lifetimes together. They call this, the go-home segment on the go-home Raw to WrestleMania. And if you look at the past 20 years, who stands here in this ring, in the go home segment for the go-home Raw before WrestleMania? More often than not, your champion, Brock Lesnar.
Why is that? Because, year in and year out at WrestleMania, Brock Lesnar is the beast to slay, the conquerer to conquer, the one to beat on the single biggest show of the year. This year, Drew McIntyre has truly stepped up, my compliments sir, much respect to you. Why? Because, Drew McIntyre is that special. Compared to the guy on the street, Drew McIntyre is that special. Compared to the dumbass in the gym who says, I can do that WWE stuff, no you can’t, Drew McIntyre is special. Compared to locker room and let’s be honest with each other, that is the most extraordinary roster in the history of this industry, Drew McIntyre compared to all of them, is that special. You know who else was special? The Rock, who got laid out and beat by Brock Lesnar the first time Brock ever went after that title. You know who else was special? The Immortal, Hulk Hogan, who’s blood was wiped across Brock Lesnar’s chest like some mid-evil warlord conquering the past.
You know who else was special? Randy Couture, Shane Carwin, John Cena, The Undertaker, they were all not just special, they were legends, they were hall of famers, they were icons that stood above the all other icons. At the end of the day, when they got into the ring against a once ever athlete like, Brock Lesnar, you know what happen? They ended up like everyone else, not so god damn special, but just Brock’s bitch. Drew McIntyre does not need for me to embellish, or exaggerate, or market, or promote just how damn good that ClayMore Kick is. So was The Rock Bottom, so was Hulk Hogan’s Leg Drop, so was Randy Couture and Shane Carwin’s knockout punch, so was John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment, so was The Undertaker’s ChokeSlam and TombStone at WrestleMania and none of them worked on Brock Lesnar, on the day that Brock Lesnar stepped in the ring and it truly mattered after the bell rang. Now that Brock Lesnar knows that The ClayMore Kick is coming to him, one or two things are going to happen.
Either Brock Lesnar has now mastered a strategy that will avoid The ClayMore Kick or Brock Lesnar will eat a ClayMore Kick and then we’re gonna find out, if The ClayMore Kick can take down, Brock Lesnar? I have something for you, it’s more than a prediction, it’s more than a spoiler, it’s an absolute guarantee. Next year, on the go-home segment, on the go-home Raw before WrestleMania, you know who’s gonna be standing here? Brock Lesnar, with the title over his shoulder. You know what i’ll be talking about? The fact that Drew McIntyre, just like everyone else had a great story to tell, his more compelling than others because he’s the right guy, in the right place, with the right look at the right time, but he got beaten fugly at the 2020 WrestleMania by the reigning, defending, undisputed, heavyweight champion of the world, Brock Lesnar. Because this year at WrestleMania, Drew McIntyre walks in special, and Drew McIntyre walks over just like everybody else, nothing more than Brock’s bitch.
Checkout Episode 198 of The Hoots Podcast