WWE Raw Results – March 26, 2018

March 26, 2018
Quicken Loans Arena
Cleveland, Ohio

Pro Wrestling Transcriptions

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Transcription by Josh Lopez

Paul Heyman & Brock Lesnar In-Ring Segment: 

We are 13 days from his client, Brock Lesnar, conquering WrestleMania. While Paul Heyman is unquestionably the greatest orator in the history of WWE, not even his articulation could match the visualization of the graphic footage from last week. This is where if you watch the news channel, it would say breaking news. The temporary suspension of Roman Reigns has been lifted. This means everyone whose heart is pounding harder now thinks that Reigns will be coming out for a fight.

However, Roman Reigns is not here this evening.For those in the WWE Universe who think they know the script where Heyman says credit goes to Brock Lesnar. Heyman can’t give credit to his client. Roman Reigns was raised by his father, a legend and WWE Hall of Famer, Sika. Reigns was raised to be a Samoan bad ass and to fight. They raised him to win. It’s a shame they didn’t raise Roman Reigns to be a man. A man would be here tonight. It wasn’t him or Brock Lesnar who said that.

Reigns is here every week, even if he’s not advertised. If the beating went the other way and Brock had handcuffs put on him after finding three local MMA fighters, his client will devour those fighters. Brock would want Reigns to take the title from him. Reigns is not man enough to take the title from Brock Lesnar. Heyman doesn’t need a video package. That’s why on April 8th, Roman Reigns is not man enough to take the title from the reigning, defending, undisputed, WWE Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar.

Reigns makes his way through the Quicken Loans Arena. Reigns grabs a steel chair. Brock clotheslines Reigns. Reigns drives Brock face first to the steel ring post. Reigns repeatedly whips Brock with the chair. Reigns goes for a Flying SuperMan Punch, but Brock counters with an Over Head Belly to Belly Suplex on the floor. Brock blasts Reigns with the steel ring steps. Brock breaks a chair over Reigns back. Brock plants Reigns with The F5. 

First Match: Nia Jax vs. Mickie James w/Alexa Bliss 

Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Nia shoves Mickie. Nia launches Mickie to the corner. Mickie rolls herself out of the ring. Nia repeatedly stomps on Mickie’s chest. Nia follows that with multiple biel throws. Nia is trying to drag Mickie back into the ring. Mickie slaps Nia in the face. Nia is distracted by Bliss. Mickie chop blocks Nia. Mickie starts targeting injured knee of Nia. Nia bodyslams Mickie. Nia goes for a Running Leg Drop, but Mickie ducks out of the way.

Mickie with a Running Boot for a two count. Mickie transitions into a ground and pound attack. Nia blocks the Leaping DDT from Mickie. Mickie side steps Nia into the turnbuckles. Nia gets Mickie in the military press position. Nia plants Mickie with the Samoan Drop to pickup the victory. After the match, Bliss attacks Nia from behind. Nia chases Bliss to the backstage area.

Winner: Nia Jax via Pinfall 

The Authority’s Video Package: 

Second Match: Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali vs. TJ Perkins & Drew Gulak 

205 Live General Manager, Drake Maverick joins the commentary team for this match. Perkins and Ali will start things off. Perkins applies a rear chin lock. Ali gets back to a vertical base. Perkins dumps Ali face first on the top rope for a two count. Perkins bodyslams Ali. Perkins follows that with a SlingShot Senton. Perkins tags in Gulak. Gulak with a Swinging Bodyslam for a two count. Ali and Gulak are trading knife edge chops.

Gulak with a Back Body Drop for a two count. Gulak locks in the Cravate. Gulak knocks Alexander off the ring apron. Ali decks Gulak with a Back Elbow Smash. Ali with a Tornado DDT to Gulak. Alexander and Perkins are tagged in. Alexander clotheslines Perkins. Alexander follows that with a Head Scissors TakeOver. Alexander dropkicks Perkins. Alexander rocks Perkins with a Jumping Enzuigiri.

Alexander connects with a SpringBoard Clothesline for a two count. Ali sends Gulak out of the ring with a Pop Up Wrecking Ball Dropkick. Ali takes out Gulak with a SlingShot Plancha. Perkins rolls Alexander over for a two count. Ali makes the blind tag. Alexander hits the HandSpring RoundHouse Kick. Alexander plants Perkins with The Lumbar Check. Ali lands The 054 to pickup the victory.

Winner: Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali via Pinfall 

Miz TV with Special Guests: Finn Balor and Seth Rollins 

Miz lives in LA. Before he brings out his guests, Miz has some personal issues to deal with. Some people like to keep personal things private, but he wants to be open and honest. Miz is upset at The MizTourage. Less than a year ago, Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel were swimming in a pool of mediocrity. They failed him. If Miz wanted failure, he never would have gone to LA. He would’ve stayed in Cleveland. Miz has been left down on the mat for the last two weeks because of them. Dallas says that they’re doing the best they can.

According to Miz, Dallas can Bolieve himself back to catering. Seth Rollins makes his way to the ring.  Normally Rollins is not a fan of MizTV but this is some great stuff. The MizTourage hashing out their problems. Rollins wants to mediate the situation. The MizTourage feels a little under appreciated. When was the last time Miz looked them in the eyes and said thank you? Without them, he wouldn’t be the Intercontinental Champion. Rollins leads us to a MizTourage chants.

When Miz hands go up, Cleveland’s mouths go shut. Dallas calls Miz a phony A Lister who can’t fight. Miz wants him to repeat that sentence. Balor joins the conversation. There’s other terms to describe Miz. Jerk, Loser, Coward, etc. Miz pie faces Dallas. Axel is trying to calm down Dallas. Miz’s goal is to fire up the MizTourage. We’re less than two weeks away and they’re letting Rollins and Balor get in their heads?

The only thing that matters is the Intercontinental Championship. Miz says that he’s a better champion than Randy Savage, Shawn Michaels, and Mr. Perfect. Axel is pissed. Miz cancels Miz TV! The MizTourage blind slides Rollins and Balor. A pier six brawl breaks out. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows storms to the ringside area to make the save. Rollins clotheslines Miz over the top rope. Rollins and Balor are having a small tug of war over the IC Title. Balor drops Rollins with a Haymaker. 

Third Match: Asuka vs. Jamie Frost 

Frost delivers multiple forearm shivers after the bell rings. Frost slaps Asuka in the face. Asuka responds with a RoundHouse Kick to pickup the victory.

Winner: Asuka via Pinfall 

#WOKEN Matt Hardy Promo: 

Sasha Banks & Bayley Backstage Segment: 

Fourth Match: Braun Strowman vs. Sheamus w/Cesaro 

Cesaro distracts Strowman. Sheamus is throwing multiple haymakers in the corner. Strowman creates distance with a Biel Throw. Sheamus sends Strowman crashing to the outside. Strowman blocks the Ten Beats from Sheamus. Strowman clotheslines Sheamus. Strowman rolls Sheamus back into the ring. Strowman knocks Sheamus off the ring apron with a Body Avalanche. Sheamus is begging for mercy. Cesaro hops on the ring apron to distract Strowman. Strowman goes for a Big Boot, but Sheamus ducks out of the way. S

heamus drops Strowman with a DDT. Sheamus is putting the boots to Strowman. Sheamus decks Strowman with a Big Boot. Sheamus follows that with multiple lariats. Sheamus applies an arm-bar. Sheamus drives his knee into the midsection of Strowman. Strowman fires up with two clotheslines. Sheamus is trying to regain his composure on the outside. Strowman blasts Sheamus with a Running Shoulder Block. Strowman whips Sheamus back first to the ringside barricade.

Strowman throws Sheamus back into the ring. Sheamus side steps Strowman to the steel ring post. Sheamus lands a Flying Clothesline for a one count. Sheamus kicks Strowman in the chest. Cesaro goes for a cheap shot, but the referee gets in the way. Strowman knocks Cesaro off the ring apron. Strowman dodges The Brogue Kick from Sheamus. Strowman levels Sheamus with a Body Avalanche. Strowman plants Sheamus with The Running PowerSlam to pickup the victory.

Winner: Braun Strowman via Pinfall 

Kurt Angle, Ronda Rousey and Absolution In-Ring Segment: 

WrestleMania is the toughest stage to debut on but after seeing her train, Angle says that Ronda Rousey is ready for WrestleMania. Triple H and Stephanie write and make the rules. They will be ready for everything. It will be fun, but it won’t be easy. Rousey didn’t come to WWE for things to be easy. She came here to earn everything. Stephanie can talk tough, but she’s limousine tough. She will get everything she deserves. That will be her pulling her arm out of its socket.

Absolution joins the conversation. Paige says that Rousey will be sabotaged by not having friends. Raw is Absolution and the ring is Paige’s house. It’s great that Rousey grew up watching WWE. You can get lost in the shuffle and people will take advantage of you. Paige asks Rousey if she needs back up? Rousey has an Olympic Gold Medalist at her six o’clock. Paige understands the pressure and Rousey does not have to go out there alone.

She can be the fourth member of Absolution. Rousey declines Paige’s offer. Paige understands Rousey’s choice, but it’s not a good one. She could’ve had some best friends, but now Rousey made new worst enemies. Rousey clotheslines Deville. Rousey sends Rose crashing into Deville with a Release Exploder Suplex. Rousey follows that with a Judo Throw. Rousey gets Rose trapped in a arm-bar. 

Fifth Match: Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows vs. The MizTourage 

Anderson and Axel will start things off. Axel punches Anderson. Axel knocks Gallows off the ring apron. Anderson responds with two lariats. Anderson side steps Axel into the turnbuckles. Anderson rocks Axel with a Rocket Kick. Axel sends Anderson crashing to the outside. Axel tags in Dallas. Dallas transitions into a ground and pound attack on the floor. Dallas with a Knee Lift to Anderson. Dallas rolls Anderson back into the ring. Dallas with the cover for a two count. Dallas applies a side headlock. Axel tags himself in.

The MizTourage are cutting the ring in half. Axel delivers a clubbing to the back of Anderson’s neck. Axel dropkicks Anderson. Dallas with a Corner Clothesline to Anderson. Axel follows that with a DDT for a two count. Dallas applies a rear chin lock. Dallas drives his knee into the midsection of Anderson. Anderson creates distance with a SpineBuster. Anderson tags in Gallows. Gallows clears the ring.

Gallows with a Stinger Splash to Axel. Gallows decks Axel with a High Leg Lariat. Gallows with a PumpHandle Slam. Gallows flattens Axel with a Running Splash. Gallows tags in Anderson. The Club connects with The Boot of Doom for a two count. Gallows drags Dallas out of the ring. Gallows SuperKicks Dallas on the floor. Anderson blocks The Perfect Plex from Axel. Anderson lands a Flying Neck Breaker. The Club plants Axel with The Magic Killer to pickup the victory.

Winner: Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows via Pinfall 

Sixth Match: Elias vs. Rhyno w/Heath Slater 

Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Rhyno backs Elias into the turnbuckles. Elias and Rhyno are trading knife edge chops. Rhyno drops Elias with a shoulder tackle. Rhyno follows that with a HeadButt. Elias pokes Rhyno in the eye. Elias is putting the boots to Rhyno. Elias with a Basement Forearm Smash to Rhyno. Elias locks in the Cravate. Elias drives Rhyno head to the canvas.

Elias goes for a Elbow Drop, but Rhyno ducks out of the way. Rhyno with a chop/haymaker combination to Elias. Rhyno clotheslines Elias. Following a forearm exchange, Elias kicks Rhyno in the face. Elias clotheslines Rhyno. Elias plants Rhyno with Drift Away to pickup the victory. After the match, Elias attacks Slater from behind. Elias hits Slater with The Drift Away.

Winner: Elias via Pinfall 

Seventh Match: John Cena vs. Kane in a No Disqualification Match 

Cena and Kane are quickly exchanging punches in the center of the ring. Kane uppercuts Cena. Cena fires back with right hands. Kane drops Cena with a Big Boot. Kane drives Cena rib first to the ringside barricade. Kane delivers another haymaker. Kane with a Running Fist Drop for a two count. Kane applies a rear chin lock. Cena gets back to a vertical base. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Kane falls on his back for a two count. Cena rolls himself out of the ring. Kane and Cena are trading haymakers on the floor.

Kane sends Cena shoulder first to the steel ring steps. Kane brings this brawl to the crowd. Cena hits Kane with a steel chair. Kane connects with a Vertical Suplex on the steel railing. Kane launches Cena over the barricade. Kane finally rolls Cena back into the ring. Kane rips off the top turnbuckle pad. Cena sits up like The Undertaker. Cena drops Kane with a Flying Shoulder Tackle. Cena follows that with a Spinning Side Slam. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena whips Kane face first across the exposed steel. Cena

ChokeSlams Kane for a two count. Cena brings out a table from under the ring. Now it’s Kane who sits up. Kane kicks Cena in the gut. Kane goes for a TombStone, but Cena lands back on his feet. Kane blocks the Attitude Adjustment. Kane uppercuts Cena. Kane throws Cena shoulder first through a table for a two count. Kane brings another table into the ring. Cena blocks the ChokeSlam from Kane. Cena puts Kane through the table with an Attitude Adjustment to pickup the victory.

Winner: John Cena via Pinfall 

John Cena Promo:

Where is the lightning, bells of terror, or Undertaker? This is a match with no rules and anything can happen and anyone can be here. Where are you? Cena screams for the Undertaker. Cena knows Taker is not deaf, he’s just afraid. They chant your name in every city. don’t get to be mysterious here. Silence is not an answer. It’s either yes or no. Cena is okay with no because he will go to WrestleMania as a fan.

He tells Taker to get his eyes out of the back of his head. Do something! Taker only has one week left that sums up his entire career. Taker can do something, or he can do nothing. If Taker does nothing, he’ll let down Cena, Kane and member of the WWE Universe who ever believed in him. Taker only cares about himself. Cena hopes he sees Undertaker next week.

Check out Episode 98 of The Josh Lopez Wrestling Podcast 

Author: Josh Lopez