March 5, 2018
BMO Harris Bradley Center
Pro Wrestling Transcriptions
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Transcription by Josh Lopez
Kurt Angle, Stephanie McMahon, Ronda Rousey and Triple H In-Ring Segment:
Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle wants to be serious for a moment. Since coming back to the WWE, he’s had to swallow his pride on a number of occasions because it was best for business. Last week went too far when Triple H sucker punched him. Angle is not going to pretend that things are alright. Angle proceeds to call Triple H. Stephanie McMahon is trying to calm down Angle because HHH is not here yet. Stephanie brings up the fact that Angle is responsible for five kids and a new wife. Those alimony payments must be steep. Angle is a 4 time WWE Champion, Olympic Gold Medalist and WWE Hall of Famer, but those accolades are not paying the bills right now. Being Raw General Manager pays the bills. Angle provoked her husband at the Elimination Chamber. Angle is responsible for HHH being put through a table by Ronda Rousey. Stephanie tells Angle to know his role and let’s put all this drama to the side.
Ronda Rousey joins the conversation. What the Authority did last week was enlightening. Rousey has dealt with bully bosses her entire life. Stephanie says that employees don’t always understand the choices their bosses make. Rousey is part of WWE that Stephanie oversees. Her debut match will be on the grandest stage of them all. It doesn’t get any bigger than that. Rousey is grateful for the opportunity, but she’ll be the one choosing her opponent for WrestleMania. She can superstar who’s not a champion on the active WWE Roster. Rousey challenges Stephanie McMahon to a match at WrestleMania. Stephanie is not an active member of the roster. Triple H finally shows up to the Bradley Center. HHH wants Angle to do his job instead of acting like a tough guy. Stephanie is an executive and the commissioner of Raw.
Angle informs everybody that Stephanie has a second contract which allows her to be an active WWE Superstar. Angle is the one who makes the matches here. At WrestleMania 34, it will be The Authority vs. Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle in a Mixed Tag Team Match. Oh it’s true, it’s damn true. Stephanie tries to slap Angle, but Rousey gets in the way. HHH brings Stephanie out of the ring. HHH and Angle are trading back and forth blows. Angle gets HHH trapped in the Ankle Lock. HHH sends Angle face first to the middle turnbuckle pad. Stephanie attacks Rousey from behind. Stephanie immediately runs away from the ringside area. HHH goes for a Pedigree, but Angle counters with another Ankle Lock. Rousey drags Stephanie back into the ring. Rousey connects with a Samoan Drop.
First Match: Asuka vs. Nia Jax
Asuka starts things off with multiple haymakers. Asuka kicks Nia in the face. Nia responds with two Body Avalanches. Nia follows that with a Running Hip Attack. Nia HeadButts Asuka. Nia launches Asuka back first to the bottom rope. Nia rolls Asuka back into the ring. Asuka side steps Nia into the turnbuckles. Asuka goes for a Tilt-A-Whirl Arm-Bar, but Nia counters with a Back Breaker. Asuka locks in the Octopus Hold. Nia blocks the Sunset Flip. Nia repeatedly stomps on Asuka chest in the corner. Nia levels Asuka with a Running Haymaker. Nia connects with The Eye Of The Storm. Coming out of the commercial break, Nia has Asuka in a Waist Lock.
Asuka drops Nia with The Shining Wizard for a two count. Nia drives Asuka back first into the turnbuckles. Nia is ramming her shoulders into the midsection of Asuka. Nia runs through Asuka with another Body Avalanche for a two count. Nia hits the Samoan Drop for a two count. Nia transitions into a ground and pound attack. Nia dumps Asuka with a Military Press Slam. Nia goes for a Running Leg Drop, but Asuka ducks out of the way. Asuka gets Nia trapped in the Cross Arm Breaker. Asuka transitions into a Triangle Choke. Nia is trying to break the hold with a series of PowerBombs. Nia goes for a Desperation PowerBomb, but Asuka counters with a Cross Arm Breaker which forces her to tap out.
Winner: Asuka via Submission
Second Match: The Revival vs. The Bar. If The Revival Wins, They’ll Face The Bar At WrestleMania 34 For The WWE Raw Tag Team Titles
Sheamus and Dawson will start things off. Dawson with a waist lock go-behind to Sheamus. Sheamus rocks Dawson with a Back Elbow Smash. Sheamus with a side headlock takeover to Dawson. Sheamus drops Dawson with a shoulder tackle. Sheamus brings Dawson to the corner. Sheamus tags in Cesaro. Stereo Thrust Kicks from The Bar. Sheamus throws Dawson to the ring apron. Sheamus knocks Wilder off the ring apron. Dawson blocks The Ten Beats from Sheamus. Dawson levels Sheamus with a Top Rope Stunner. Sheamus goes for a White Noise, but Wilder gets in the way. Wilder tags himself in. Dawson clotheslines Sheamus into a Sunset Flip from Wilder for a two count. Sheamus tags in Cesaro. Dawson with a GourdBuster for a two count. Cesaro rolls himself out of the ring. The Bar are double teaming Dawson in the corner.
The Bar connects with a Diving Clothesline/Back Breaker Combination for a two count. The Bar are cutting the ring in half. Sheamus staggers Dawson with a Knee Lift. Sheamus applies a wrist lock. Dawson creates distance with a JawBreaker. Sheamus goes for a Tilt-A-Whirl PowerSlam, but Dawson lands back on his feet. Wilder dropkicks the back of Sheamus knee. Dawson follows that with a Standard Dropkick for a two count. Following a snap mare takeover, Dawson repeatedly stomps on Sheamus shoulder. Dawson is mauling Sheamus on the middle rope. Sheamus and Dawson are trading back and forth shots.
Dawson applies an arm-bar. Sheamus tags in Cesaro. Cesaro with a Double Leg TakeDown to Wilder. Cesaro HeadButts the midsection of Dawson. Dawson responds with a DDT for a two count. Cesaro fires back with a Running European Uppercut. Cesaro tags in Sheamus. Sheamus clears the ring. Sheamus with a Running Knee Lift to Dawson. Wilder distracts Sheamus. Dawson sends Sheamus crashing shoulder first to the steel ring post. Dawson connects with a SuperPlex. Wilder follows that with a FrogSplash for a two count. Wilder tags in Dawson. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Wilder. Dawson responds with a Olympic Slam. Cesaro kicks Dawson in the gut. Cesaro plants Dawson with The Neutralizer to pickup the victory.
Winner: The Bar via Pinfall
John Cena & Goldust In-Ring Segment:
Third Match: John Cena vs. Goldust
Goldust is controlling the early stages of this match. Cena is throwing haymakers to Goldust. Cena ducks a clothesline from Goldust. Goldust hits the Inverted Atomic Drop. Goldust drops Cena with a Big Boot. Goldust with a Seated Senton to the back of Cena. Goldust follows that with another Inverted Atomic Drop. Both men are knocked down after a double clothesline. Goldust side steps Cena into the turnbuckles. Goldust with the lateral press for a two count.
Goldust transitions into a ground and pound attack. Goldust with a PowerSlam for a two count. Goldust delivers a clubbing knee drop. Goldust is trying to play mind games with Cena. Goldust low blows Cena behind the referee’s back for a two count. Cena with two shoulder tackles to Goldust. Cena follows that with the Spinning Side Slam. Cena with the Five Knuckle Shuffle to Goldust. Cena plants Goldust with The Attitude Adjustment to pickup the victory.
Winner: John Cena via Pinfall
Elias & Kurt Angle Backstage Segment:
Absolution & Bayley Segment:
Fourth Match: Bayley vs. Mandy Rose w/Absolution
Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Bayley applies a waist lock. Rose decks Bayley with a Back Elbow Smash. Rose cartwheels over Bayley. Rose dropkicks Bayley. Bayley applies a wrist lock. Rose backs Bayley into the ropes. Rose drives Bayley back first into the turnbuckles. Rose bodyslams Bayley for a two count. Bayley is ramming her shoulders into the midsection of Rose. Bayley lands a Leaping Back Elbow Strike in the corner. Rose rolls herself out of the ring.
Coming out of the commercial break, Rose has Bayley in a rear chin lock. Bayley gets back to a vertical base. Bayley delivers stiff bodyshot. Rose is showing off her strength in the center of the ring. Rose drops Bayley with a Clubbing Haymaker for a two count. Bayley fires back with forearm shivers. Bayley with a BackSlide Cover for a two count. Rose ducks a clothesline from Bayley. Rose decks Bayley with a Bicycle Knee Strike for a two count. Rose transitions into a ground and pound attack.
Bayley regains momentum with a Middle Rope Stunner. Bayley with a series of axe handle strikes. Bayley takes down Rose with a Crossbody Block. Bayley repeatedly bounces Rose’s head on the top turnbuckle. Bayley with a Saito Suplex. Bayley lands a Top Rope Elbow Drop. Bayley knocks Deville off the ring apron. Bayley connects with The Gator Roll to pickup the victory. After the match, Absolution is beating down Bayley. Sasha Banks clears the ring. Bayley refuses to hug Sasha.
Winner: Bayley via Pinfall
Alexa Bliss & Nia Jax Backstage Segment:
Fifth Match: Braun Strowman vs. Elias In A Symphony Of Destruction Match
Strowman brings Elias back to the Bradley Center. Strowman kicks Elias down the ramp. Strowman rolls Elias back into the ring. Strowman delivers a clubbing blow to the back of Elias. Strowman connects with a Biel Throw. Strowman follows that with a Body Avalanche. Strowman takes down Elias with a Sledgehammer Punch. Strowman goes for the Running PowerSlam, but Elias lands back on his feet. Elias is targeting the knee of Strowman. Elias breaks a guitar over Strowman’s back.
Elias lands a Top Rope Elbow Drop for a one count. Elias goes for a Vertical Suplex, but Strowman blocks it. Strowman drops Elias with a big haymaker. Strowman clears the announce table. Strowman throws Elias into three acoustic guitars on the stage. Strowman breaks the Cello over Elias back. Strowman starts playing the piano. Strowman buries Elias under the piano. Strowman goes on to score the pinfall.
Winner: Braun Strowman via Pinfall
Sixth Match: Bray Wyatt vs. Rhyno w/Heath Slater
Bray kicks Rhyno in the gut. Rhyno sends Bray to the corner. Rhyno is teeing off on Bray. Bray kicks Rhyno in the face. Bray transitions into a ground and pound attack. Bray plants Rhyno with The Sister Abigail to pickup the victory.
Winner: Bray Wyatt via Pinfall
#WOKEN Matt Hardy & Bray Wyatt Segment:
The Mizzies Featuring Seth Rollins and Finn Balor
The Mizzies are honor the greatest in WWE. They honor true greatness, not movies that no one saw before. The real Darkest Hour was the fact that The Shape of Water won best movie over The Marine 5. Get Out? That’s what Kurt Angle should do as Raw General Manager. Miz wants three billboards of his face outside of New Orleans. It’s time for the first award. The Superstar that is the best at patting themselves on the back. The nominees are Seth Rollins, Kurt Angle, and Finn Balor. The winner is Seth Rollins and Finn Balor. Unfortunately Rollins and Balor were not invited to The Mizzies.
The next category is Kurt Angle’s Worst Decision. The nominees are the reveal of his bastard son, Jason Jordan letting Finn Balor and Seth Rollins into the Elimination Chamber Match, or Kurt Angle for not naming an opponent for The Intercontinental Champion at WrestleMania. The winner is obviously Kurt Angle. Angle can’t accept the award because he was too busy sucking up to Ronda Rousey. Angle will be looking for a new job after WrestleMania. Now it’s time for a LIfeTime Achievement Mizzie.
It goes to the workhorse of the WWE. The man who will be in the main event of any show no matter where he’s at on the card. The Miz who in 55 days will surpass Pedro Morales as the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all-time. Rollins and Balor makes there way to the stage. Rollins is tired of Balor interrupting him. Miz rips Rollins and Balor for gloating about participation trophies. Balor is the prime example, he brags about being the first ever Universal Champion, but he hasn’t done anything since. Balor talks about how over he is, but this is not Japan. To be over, you need more than stealing other groups hand signals. Miz challenges Rollins and Balor to a Handicap Match. That match will start next.
Seventh Match: The Miz & The MizTourage vs. Seth Rollins & Finn Balor in a Handicap Match
Balor and Axel will start things off. Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Following a snap mare takeover, Balor applies an arm-bar. Axel backs Balor into the ropes. Axel drives his knee into the midsection of Balor. Balor turns a Sunset Flip into a Basement Dropkick for a two count. Balor applies a wrist lock. Balor tags in Rollins. Rollins lands a Flying Double Axe Handle Strike. Axel kicks Rollins in the gut. Axel tags in Dallas. Rollins throws Axel out of the ring. Rollins follows that with a Hip Toss to Dallas. Rollins dropkicks Dallas. Rollins takes a swing at Miz. Dallas attacks Rollins from behind. Dallas repeatedly stomps on Rollins chest. Dallas tags in Miz.
Miz with a Running Boot for a one count. Following a snap mare takeover, Axel delivers a Running Neck Snap for a two count. Axel is wearing down Rollins in the center of the ring. Axel dropkicks Rollins. Axel tags in Dallas. Dallas his ram across the forehead of Rollins for a one count. Dallas applies a rear chin lock. Rollins fires back with a chop/haymaker combination. Rollins ducks a clothesline from Dallas. Rollins tags in Balor. Balor clears the ring. Balor with a Standing Double Foot Stomp. Balor follows that with two running knife edge chops. Dallas kicks Balor in the face. Balor responds with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Balor goes for the 1916, but he’s distracted by The Miz. Dallas clotheslines Balor on the floor.
Coming out of the commercial break, Balor creates distance with a JawBreaker. Balor drops Axel with an Over Head Kick. Balor tags in Rollins. Rollins connects with a SpringBoard Clothesline. Rollins decks Miz with a Jumping Leg Lariat. Rollins with a Running Forearm Smash to Miz. Rollins with a Roll Through Falcon Arrow for a two count. Rollins thrust kicks the midsection of Miz. Rollins knocks Dallas off the ring apron.
Rollins rolls Miz over for a two count. Rollins SuperKicks Miz for a two count. Rollins takes out The MizTourage with a Double Suicide Dive. Rollins clotheslines Miz over the top rope. Balor tags himself in. Rollins with a Double Wrecking Ball Dropkick to The MizTourage. Balor responds with a SomerSault Plancha. Balor takes down Miz with The SlingBlade. Balor follows that with a ShotGun Dropkick. Balor goes for the Coupe De Grace, but Rollins tags himself in. Rollins plants Miz with The Blackout to pickup the victory.
Winner: Seth Rollins & Finn Balor via Pinfall
Paul Heyman & Roman Reigns In-Ring Segment:
Heyman doesn’t seek the affirmation of the WWE Universe. He’s here to deliver a message on behalf of his client. He’s here to set the record straight. Heyman is only person allowed to touch Brock Lesnar’s Universal Championship. Roman Reigns will not defeat his client at WrestleMania He’ll have no problem bringing both the Universal and UFC Heavyweight Championships to SummerSlam. Last week, Roman Reigns had a lot to say about Brock Lesnar. What’s the biggest victory in Reigns career? He defeated The Undertaker at last year’s WrestleMania. Did anyone complain about the victory meaning something since The Undertaker only wrestled once that year? No because that’s bullshit.
The Undertaker is the Undertaker 365 days a year, so props to you. Brock Lesnar is Brock Lesnar 365 days a year. If Reigns has a problem with this, he can do something about it next week when he brings his client to Detroit. Afa WrestleMania, you can Sika a new title because this one belongs to, Brock Lesnar. The Universal Title is Brock’s bitch. She belongs to Brock Lesnar. Roman Reigns, you are eyeballing Brock’s bitch and you can’t have her. Roman Reigns wants to be Universal Champion because his family’s bloodline runs through this business. He will have to take the title out of Brock’s hot, competitive fingers. Brock has always wanted to be numbers one. The Universal Title is not a belt, strap, or prop. It’s proof that you are number one.
It’s not how bad you want the title, it’s how bad the title wants you. Here is the sacrifice Reigns has to make. On the Saturday night before WrestleMania will get a phone call at 1am in the morning. Something bad has happen to Reigns father. Reigns can’t take a red eye home because he’ll be needed for WrestleMania. Next week on Raw, his client will be here and Reigns can say whatever he wants. Reigns will have to understand that he can’t shoot on the mic with Paul Heyman or in the ring with the Reigning, Defending, Undisputed, Universal Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lesnar.
Roman Reigns joins the conversation. This is what Reigns was talking about last week. He said a lot of things last week. Some were harsh but they were true. Heyman is here for Brock’s rebuttal. Brock really is a bitch after all. The WWE Universe is asking for their champion to show up and act like he wants to be here. If Brock is going to be in Detroit, Reigns will be there too. Brock can say whatever he wants to his face but he better not be dressed for a promo segment. He better be dressed for a fight.
Check out Episode 95 of The Josh Lopez Wrestling Podcast