NJPW G1 Climax 33: Night Four
July 19, 2023
Xebio Arena Sendai
Sendai, Japan
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A BLOCK: (SANADA, Shota Umino, Hikuleo, Kaito Kiyomiya, Chase Owens, Ren Narita, Yota Tsuji, and Gabriel Kidd)
B BLOCK: (Kazuchika Okada, Will Ospreay, KENTA, Taichi, El Phantasmo, The Great O-Khan, Yoshi Hashi and Tanga Loa)
C BLOCK: (Tomohiro Ishii, Shingo Takagi, David Finlay, Eddie Kingston, EVIL, Tama Tonga, Aaron Henare and Mikey Nicholls)
D BLOCK: (Hiroshi Tanahashi, Tetsuya Naito, Zack Sabre Jr, Jeff Cobb, Hirooki Goto, Toru Yano, Shane Haste and Alex Coughlin)
Transcription by Josh Lopez
First Match: (2) Zack Sabre Jr w/Kosei Fujita vs. (0) Toru Yano In A G1 Climax 33 D Block Tournament Match
Sabre uses Fujita to play mind games with Yano. Sabre applies The Sleeper Hold on the stage. Sabre makes Fujita tighten all four corner pads. Yano avoids The PK. Yano with an Inverted Atomic Drop. Yano with a double leg takedown. Yano tapes Sabre’s legs together. Sabre gets back in the ring at the count of nineteen. Yano with an inside cradle for a two count.
Yano realizes he can’t remove the corner pads. Fujita gives Sabre a pair of scissors. Yano is completely flustered. Sabre applies The Triangle Choke. Sabre goes for The Cross-Arm-Breaker, but Yano rolls him over for a two count. Sabre connects with a Modified Schoolboy Rollup to pickup the victory.
Winner: Zack Sabre Jr via Pinfall
Second Match: (2) David Finlay w/Gedo vs. (2) Mikey Nicholls w/Kosei Fujita In A G1 CLIMAX 33 C BLOCK Tournament Match
Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Finlay backs Nicholls into the red turnbuckle pad. The referee calls for a clean break. That leads us to a quick shoving contest. Nicholls side steps Finlay into the red turnbuckle pad. Nicholls whips Finlay across the ring. Nichols drops down on the canvas. Finlay sends Nicholls into the ropes. Nicholls goes for a Vertical Suplex, but Finlay lands back on his feet. Nicholls puts Finlay down with a Delayed Vertical Suplex for a two count. Nicholls dropkicks Finlay for a one count. Nicholls fish hooks Finlay. Nicholls kicks Finlay in the face. Short-Arm Reversal by Finlay. Finlay tackles Nicholls out of the ring. Finlay is raining down haymakers. Finlay repeatedly drives the back of Nicholls head against the steel barricade. Finlay launches Nicholls face first into the steel ring post.
Finlay repeatedly stomps on Nicholls chest. Finlay transitions into a ground and pound attack. Finlay stomps on the left shoulder of Nicholls. Finlay uppercuts Nicholls. Finlay is mauling Nicholls in the corner. Finlay starts biting the forehead of Nicholls. Nicholls chops Finlay. Finlay answers with three uppercuts. Finlay whips Nicholls into the red turnbuckle pad. Nicholls decks Finlay with a back elbow smash. Standing Switch Exchange. Nicholls drops Finlay with a DDT. Nicholls with two corner clotheslines. Nicholls with a blistering chop. Nicholls puts Finlay on the top turnbuckle. Finlay blocks The SuperPlex. Nicholls with a straight right hand. Finlay fights out of the fireman’s carry position.
Finlay goes for The O’Connor Roll, but Nicholls holds onto the ropes. Finlay dodges The Sliding Lariat. Finlay uppercuts Nicholls. Finlay with a Rolling Elbow. Nicholls responds with a SpineBuster for a two count. Nicholls puts Finlay on the top turnbuckle. Finlay with heavy bodyshots. Finlay with a Sunset Bomb for a two count. Finlay follows that with clubbing crossfaces. Finlay with a Falling Lariat across the back of Nicholls neck for a two count. Finlay goes for The Ushigoroshi, but Nicholls lands back on his feet. Nicholls with a Running Lariat. Nicholls hits The Death Valley Driver. Nicholls with a Sliding Lariat for a two count. Nicholl goes for The Mikey Bomb, but Finlay lands back on his feet. Finlay escapes The Master Blaster. Finlay connects with The Oblivion to pickup the victory.
Winner: David Finlay via Pinfall
Third Match: (2) Jeff Cobb vs. (0) Alex Coughlin In A G1 CLIMAX 33 D BLOCK Tournament Match
Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Coughlin backs Cobb into the ropes. The referee calls for a clean break. Coughlin chops Cobb. Coughlin applies a side headlock. Cobb whips Coughlin across the ring. Shoulder Block Exchange. Cobb drops Coughlin with a leaping shoulder tackle. Coughlin throws a fit on the outside. Coughlin grabs his tag team title belt. Coughlin throws the referee at Cobb. Coughlin punches Cobb in the back. Coughlin tosses Cobb around the ringside area. Coughlin poses for the crowd. Coughlin kicks Cobb in the gut. Coughlin with a Delayed GutWrench Suplex for a two count. Coughlin applies a rear chin lock. Coughlin drops his weight on Cobb’s back. Cobb with a chop/forearm combination. Cobb goes for a Stampede, but Coughlin lands back on his feet. Coughlin pulls Cobb down to the mat. Coughlin with an impressive press slam for a two count. Cobb side steps Coughlin into a turnbuckle pad. Cobb with a series of corner clotheslines. Cobb drops down on the canvas. Cobb dropkicks Coughlin.
Coughlin drives his knee into the midsection of Cobb. Short-Arm Reversal by Cobb. Cobb delivers The Spin Cycle for a two count. Cobb with The Standing MoonSault for a two count. Coughlin slides under Cobb’s legs. Cobb blocks The Pumphandle Slam. Coughlin kicks Cobb in the gut. Coughlin goes for a Stampede, but Cobb lands back on his feet. Cobb uppercuts Coughlin. Coughlin catches Cobb in mid-air. Coughlin with an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Coughlin with a Deadlift Belly to Back Suplex for a two count. Misfired Clotheslines. Coughlin hits The Black Hole Slam for a two count. Coughlin goes for a Vertical Suplex, but Cobb lands back on his feet. Coughlin decks Cobb with a back elbow smash. Cobb answers with a straight right jab. Cobb with a Release German Suplex. Cobb connects with Tour Of The Islands to pickup the victory.
Winner: Jeff Cobb via Pinfall
Fourth Match: (2) Eddie Kingston vs. (2) EVIL w/Gedo In A G1 CLIMAX 33 C BLOCK Tournament Match
EVIL attacks Kingston before the bell rings. EVIL kicks Kingston in the gut. EVIL punches Kingston in the gut. EVIL rakes the eyes of Kingston. EVIL drops Kingston with a shoulder tackle. EVIL is putting the boots to Kingston. EVIL hammers down on the back of Kingston’s neck. Kingston with The Kitchen Sink. Kingston is lighting up EVIL’s chest. EVIL reverses out of the irish whip from Kingston. Togo trips Kingston from the outside. EVIL dumps Kingston out of the ring. EVIL whips Kingston into the steel barricade. All hell is breaking loose in Sendai. EVIL flings Kingston into a row of chairs. EVIL starts choking Kingston with an umbrella. Kingston gets back in the ring at the count of thirteen. EVIL repeatedly stomps on Kingston’s back. EVIL hooks the outside leg for a two count. EVIL applies a wrist lock. EVIL stands on Kingston’s face. EVIL continues to rake the left eye of Kingston. EVIL throws a t-shirt at Kingston.
EVIL with three knife edge chops. EVIL is going to the well with these eye rakes. Kingston starts swinging at the air. Kingston spills to the floor. Kingston with a Counter Vertical Suplex. Kingston with a corner clothesline. Kingston follows that with Machine Gun Chops. Kingston chops Togo off the ring apron. Kingston with The Face Wash for a two count. EVIL sends Kingston tumbling to the floor. EVIL drives Kingston back first into the barricade. The ring announcer goes down in the process. EVIL applies The Darkness Scorpion on the floor. Togo holds onto Kingston’s ankle. Kingston avoids the referee’s twenty count. EVIL with a corner clothesline. EVIL with The Fisherman’s Buster for a two count. Kingston hammers down on the back of EVIL’s neck. Kingston drops EVIL with a DDT. EVIL blocks The Half & Half Suplex.
Standing Switch Exchange. EVIL shoves Kingston into the referee. Kingston with a Lariat. Togo wraps the garrote around Kingston’s neck. EVIL inadvertently clocks Togo with the kendo stick. Kingston unloads a series of kendo stick shots. Kingston with The Exploder Suplex. Kingston pulls the referee back inside the ring. Kingston blocks the low blow. Kingston with The Saito Suplex for a two count. EVIL denies The Northern Lights Bomb. EVIL blocks The Spinning Back Fist. Kingston avoids Everything Is EVIL. Kingston with three back hands. Kingston hits The Spinning Back Fist for a two count. EVIL grabs the right ear of Kingston. EVIL throws the referee at Kingston. EVIL nails Kingston with The Magic Killer. Lariat Exchange. Kingston with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Kingston applies The Stretch Plum. Togo attacks Kingston with the kendo stick. EVIL delivers the low blow. EVIL connects with Everything Is EVIL to pickup the victory.
Winner: EVIL via Pinfall
Fifth Match: (0) Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. (2) Shane Haste In A G1 CLIMAX 33 D BLOCK Tournament Match
Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Haste outpowers Tanahashi. Strong lockup. Wrist Lock Exchange. Hammerlock Exchange. Tanahashi backs Haste into the blue turnbuckle pad. Tanahashi with a back elbow smash. Tanahashi with a deep arm-drag. Haste runs into another back elbow. Tanahashi with a SpringBoard Crossbody Block. Haste yanks Tanahashi off the middle rope. Haste with a Sliding Dropkick. Following a snap mare takeover, Haste rams his knee across the back of Tanahashi’s neck for a two count. Haste repeatedly kicks Tanahashi in the back. Tanahashi with a forearm smash. Haste kicks the left knee of Tanahashi. Haste kicks Tanahashi in the face. Haste slams Tanahashi’s head on a turnbuckle pad. Haste sweeps out the legs of Tanahashi. Haste is choking Tanahashi with his boot. Haste with a NeckBreaker onto the knee on the floor. Haste poses for the crowd. Haste stomps on Tanahashi’s back. Haste applies the cravate. Tanahashi reaches the bottom rope which forces the break.
Haste is raining down haymakers. Haste kicks the left shoulder of Tanahashi. Haste stomps on the left hand of Tanahashi. Tanahashi unloads a flurry of strikes. Haste tugs on Tanahashi’s hair. Haste whips Tanahashi across the ring. Tanahashi ducks a clothesline from Haste. Tanahashi with a flying forearm smash. Tanahashi with a gut punch/forearm combination. Tanahashi bodyslams Haste. Tanahashi with a SomerSault Senton for a two count. Haste dropkicks Tanahashi to the floor. Tanahashi with a forearm smash. Haste answers with a Cannonball Senton through the ropes. Haste rolls Tanahashi back into the ring. Haste kicks the left hamstring of Tanahashi. Haste with a Pump Kick. Tanahashi blocks The Bomb Valley Death. Haste with a Twisting Belly to Back Suplex for a two count. Haste with combo kicks to Tanahashi’s back and chest. Haste goes for The PK, but Tanahashi counters with The Dragon Screw Leg Whip.
Tanahashi dropkicks the right knee of Haste. Tanahashi with another Dragon Screw Leg Whip. Tanahashi goes for The SlingBlade, but Haste counters with a Belly to Back Suplex. Forearm Exchange. Uppercut Exchange. Haste kicks the left hamstring of Tanahashi. Tanahashi floors Haste with a palm strike. Haste with The Falcon Arrow for a two count. Tanahashi fights out of the fireman’s carry position. Haste blocks The Dragon Suplex. Tanahashi with The Bridging Straight Jacket German Suplex for a two count. Haste goes for The Bomb Valley Death, but Tanahashi counters with Twist and Shout. Tanahashi hits The SlingBlade for a two count. Haste has Tanahashi perched on the top turnbuckle. Tanahashi blocks The Avalanche Back Drop Driver. Tanahashi with another palm strike. Tanahashi with The Ace’s High. Tanahashi connects with The High Fly Flow to pickup the victory.
Winner: Hiroshi Tanahashi via Pinfall
Sixth Match: (0) Shingo Takagi vs. (0) Aaron Henare In A G1 CLIMAX 33 C BLOCK Tournament Match
Tight clinch after the bell rings. Takagi with a waist lock go-behind. Takagi with a single leg takedown. Henare scrambles to the bottom rope to create distance. Chain grappling exchange. Henare is getting flustered. Henare kicks Takagi in the gut. Following a snap mare takeover, Henare repeatedly kicks Takagi in the back. Forearm Exchange. Takagi drives his knee into the midsection of Henare. Takagi applies a side headlock. Henare whips Takagi across the ring. Takagi runs into Henare. Shoulder Block Exchange. Takagi with a back elbow smash. Henare answers with a Spinning Heel Kick. Henare with rapid fire bodyshots in the corner. Henare HeadButts Takagi. Takagi fights out of the fireman’s carry position. Takagi applies a waist lock. Henare with three sharp elbow strikes. Takagi HeadButts Henare. Takagi with another back elbow. Takagi scores a right jab. Takagi drops Henare with a Double Fakeout DDT.
Takagi with a Knee Drop. Takagi rolls Henare back into the ring. Takagi with Muay Thai Knee Strikes. Takagi with a running shoulder tackle. Takagi follows that with a Vertical Suplex for a two count. Takagi repeatedly kicks Henare in the face. Henare blocks The Back Drop Driver. Takagi with a clubbing blow across the back of Henare’s neck. Henare with a Pop Up Samoan Drop. Henare unloads a flurry of bodyshots in the corner. Henare levels Takagi with The Body Avalanche. Henare with The Berzerker Bomb for a two count. Henare with a Diving Senton Splash for a two count. Henare goes for The Rampage, but Takagi counters with three knee lifts. Henare applies The Ultima. Takagi backs Henare into the blue turnbuckle pad. Back Elbow Exchange. Henare with a SpringBoard Enzuigiri.
Henare goes for The Rampage, but Takagi counters with a DDT. Takagi with The Sliding Lariat. Henare blocks Last Of The Dragon. Henare goes for a Rising Knee Strike, but Takagi counters with a PowerBomb for a two count. Takagi applies The Grounding Cobra Twist. Henare grabs the bottom rope which forces the break. Henare denies Made In Japan. Takagi and Henare are trading back and forth shots. Henare with The Spinning Roundhouse Kick. Henare delivers The Rampage for a two count. Henare applies The Ultima. Takagi puts his foot on the bottom rope which forces the break. Henare goes for The Streets Of Rage, but Takagi counters with a Twisting Vertical Suplex. HeadButt Exchange. Henare with a Rising Knee Strike. Following a snap mare takeover, Henare blasts Takag with The PK. Henare goes for The Streets Of Rage, but Takagi lands back on his feet. Takagi with the backslide cover for a two count.
Henare with a low knee strike. Takagi answers with a forearm. Henare HeadButts Takagi. Henare connects with The Streets Of Rage. Takagi wisely rolls himself towards the bottom rope. Takagi blocks The Deadlift Vertical Suplex. Henare with combo palm thrust. Takagi responds with Made In Japan. Henare kicks out of Two Pumping Bombers. Takagi goes for Last Of The Dragon, but Henare lands back on his feet. Forearm/Palm Strike Exchange. Takagi with boxing elbows. Henare answers with a bolo punch. Henare with a Spinning Heel Kick. Takagi with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Henare fires back with The PK. Double Short-Arm Lariat. Second HeadButt Exchange. Takagi scores a right jab. Henare with a vicious headbutt for a two count. Henare with another PK for a two count. Henare follows that with three headbutts. Henare plants Takagi with The Streets Of Rage to pickup the victory.
Winner: Aaron Henare via Pinfall
Seventh Match: (0) Tetsuya Naito vs. (2) Hirooki Goto In A G1 CLIMAX 33 D BLOCK Tournament Match
Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Goto backs Naito into the ropes. Goto pats Naito on the chest. Strong lockup. Goto with a waist lock go-behind. Wrist Lock Exchange. Naito applies a full nelson lock. Naito drop steps into a side headlock. Goto whips Naito across the ring. Naito kicks Goto in the face. Goto ducks under two clotheslines from Naito. Naito rolls under a clothesline from Goto. Tranquilo Pose. Goto kicks Naito in the back. Naito regroups on the outside. Naito is playing mind games with Goto. Naito kicks Goto in the gut. Naito whips Goto into the steel barricade. Naito with a toe kick. Naito drops Goto with a NeckBreaker on the floor. Goto gets back in the ring at the count of eighteen. Naito repeatedly stomps on Goto’s chest. Naito whips Goto across the ring. Naito scores the elbow knockdown. Naito with a basement dropkick. Naito with a NeckBreaker for a two count.
Following a snap mare takeover, Naito applies the cravate. Goto with heavy bodyshots. Naito spits at Goto. Naito sends Goto to the corner. Goto avoids The Corner Dropkick. Naito kicks Goto in the face. Naito with a back elbow smash. Goto answers with a Misdirection Clothesline. Goto with The Spinning Wheel Kick. Goto with a Saito Suplex. Naito with clubbing blows to Goto’s back. Goto with a forearm smash. Goto follows that with a corner clothesline. Goto with The Flying Elbow Drop for a two count. Goto goes for The Ushigoroshi, but Naito lands back on his feet. Naito with an Inverted Atomic Drop. Natio with The Swinging DDT. Naito puts Goto on the top turnbuckle. Forearm Exchange. Naito with The Top Rope FrankenSteiner for a two count. Naito applies The Puma Blanca. Goto puts his foot on the bottom rope which forces the break. Naito goes for a Vertical Suplex, but Goto blocks it.
Naito with forearm shivers. Goto denies Gloria. Naito with clubbing back elbow smashes. Goto rolls Naito over for a two count. Naito with a back elbow smash. Naito with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Naito goes for The Destino, but Goto counters with a Powerslam. Second Forearm Exchange. Naito is trying to wear down Goto with repeated back elbows. Goto with Two HeadButts. Goto blocks a boot from Naito. Goto hits The Draping GTR for a two count. Naito denies The GTR. Naito with a forearm smash. Naito with a Rolling Capo Kick. Goto responds with an Inside Out Lariat. Goto with The Ushigoroshi for a two count. Goto goes for The GTR, but Naito blocks it. Goto goes for another Ushigoroshi, but Naito pulls him down to the mat. Naito with The Esperanza for a two count. Goto denies The Destino. Naito decks Goto with a back elbow smash. Naito connects with The Destino to pickup the victory.
Winner: Tetsuya Naito via Pinfall
Eight Match: (0) Tomohiro Ishii vs. (0) Tama Tonga w/Jado In A G1 CLIMAX 33 C BLOCK Tournament Match
Collar and Elbow Tie Up. Forearm Exchange. Tonga reverses out of the irish whip from Ishii. Ishii holds onto the ropes. Ishii runs into Tonga. Tonga drops Ishii with a shoulder tackle. Tonga with clubbing blows to Ishii’s chest. Tonga repeatedly stomps on Ishii’s chest. Tonga with two sharp elbow strikes. Tonga blocks The Back Drop Driver. Tonga kicks Ishii in the face. Ishii answers with a shoulder tackle. Ishii is lighting up Tonga’s chest in the corner. Tonga with forearm shivers. Ishii answers with a blistering chop. Ishii toys around with Tonga. Tonga hammers down on the back of Ishii’s neck. Tonga with two uppercuts. Ishii goes for the backslide, but Tonga lands back on his feet. Tonga with a european uppercut. Tonga with two running back elbow smashes. Ishii reverses out of the irish whip from Tonga. Tonga clotheslines Ishii.
Tonga with The Stinger Splash. Tonga Powerslams Ishii for a two count. Tonga rams his boot across Ishii’s face. Tonga goes for The Tongan Twist, but Ishii counters with a Vertical Suplex. Ishii with a chop/forearm combination. Ishii tells Tonga to bring it. Tonga reverses out of the irish whip from Ishii. Second Forearm Exchange. Ishii with a Release German Suplex. Misfired Clotheslines. Ishii avoids The Superman Punch. Tonga drops down on the canvas. Tonga leapfrogs over Ishii. Tonga with The Exploder Suplex. Ishii rises back on his feet. Ishii ducks a clothesline from Tonga. Ishii with The Back Drop Driver. Tonga blocks a lariat from Ishii. Tonga hits The SRC. Tonga goes for The Supreme Flow, but Ishii ducks out of the way. Ishii with a corner clothesline. Ishii puts Tonga on the top turnbuckle. Ishii with The Avalanche BrainBuster for a two count. Tonga dropkicks Ishii. Third Forearm Exchange.
Ishii goes for The TKO, but Tonga counters with The Tongan Twist. Ishii delivers The Pounce. Forearm/HeadButt Exchange. Ishii PowerBombs Tonga for a two count. Tonga dodges The Sliding Lariat. Ishii blocks The GunStun. Ishii with The Sliding Lariat for a two count. Tonga with a Counter Vertical Suplex. Tonga follows that with The Valeno. Tonga lands The Supreme Flow for a two count. Ishii denies The GunStun. Ishii with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Tonga ducks a clothesline from Ishii. Tonga with The Bloody Sunday for a two count. Ishii blocks The Jay Driller. Ishii drops Tonga with The GunStun. Ishii with an Inside Out Lariat for a two count. Tonga blocks The Vertical Drop BrainBuster. Ishii goes for a Back Body Drop, but Tonga lands back on his feet. Tonga with a Step Up Enzuigiri. Tonga hits The GunStun out of mid air. Tonga connects with The Jay Driller to pickup the victory.
Winner: Tama Tonga via Pinfall
THE UPDATED C AND D BLOCK STANDINGS
THE C BLOCK
1.) David Finlay (2-0) – 4 Points
2.) EVIL (2-0) – 4 Points
3.) Aaron Henare (1-1) – 2 Points
4.) Eddie Kingston (1-1) – 2 Points
5.) Mikey Nicholls (1-1) – 2 Points
6.) Tama Tonga (1-1) – 2 Points
7.) Shingo Takagi (0-2) – 0 Points
8.) Tomohiro Ishii (0-2) – 0 Points
THE D BLOCK
1.) Jeff Cobb (2-0) – 4 Points
2.) Zack Sabre Jr (2-0) – 4 Points
3.) Tetsuya Naito (1-1) – 2 Points
4.) Hiroshi Tanahashi (1-1) – 2 Points
5.) Hirooki Goto (1-1) – 2 Points
6.) Shane Haste (1-1) – 2 Points
7.) Alex Coughlin (0-2) – 0 Points
8.) Toru Yano (0-2) – 0 Points
POST MATCH COMMENTS
Zack Sabre Jr: Well, that’s certainly one of the most bizzare ways to start a wrestling show, let alone a G1 Climax. So, the less said about that, the better. Big Fujita, guess what, you’re ready, okay. I need you, TMDK needs you for G1. Time to go baby. G1 finish, party time. One day you’ll have this, but now this is mine, but it looks better on you, doesn’t it? Okay, Sugiwa, enough of that nonsense. Alex, The War Dogs, woof woof. Oh, those boys are serious. I’ve spoken a lot of shit about Bullet Club over the years. Those LA Boys that have joined, they call them, War Dogs, woof woof. Well, Alex Coughlin is the real deal. He cuts the mustard. I’m very excited for this match. I’ve got one grievance today.
I didn’t know before that his nickname was the Android, so you’re still called the android or he’s got some dickhead name? In my head, he’s still the android and that sort of conches up a lot of my discrepancies with modern technology and the way the world is going, because, you know, a few years ago, in a fit of rage, I may have called for all Japanese referees to be fired and replaced by VAR. But, as we all know, automation is going to lead to the demise of the human race. Yeah, supermarkets, there’s no cashiers in supermarkets. All just machines with one human. I hate that, so I’ll wait an extra 20 minutes so I can be served by a human in a supermarket, basic human decency. For riveting exchanges like, hey, how’s it going? Do you want a bag?
No, I’ll just carry this until I drop it and then scream because I didn’t want to spend money on the bag. Also, you know, Los Angeles, I was there for a couple of months. They just have robots on the streets. There’s robots down there delivering food. Bloody robots are taking jobs away from people. And you know what they’ve done to the robots? They’ve made them very anthropomorphic. They’re very cute. They’re very Kawaii. They’ve got eyes on them. I’m an ethical vegan for the animals. So I see the embodiment of our demise and exploitation from giant tech companies in its most obscene form. At the end of the day, if you have delivery robots, android, automation, AI, don’t get me started on AI. I don’t need robots driving cars. I want a taxi driver.
Mikey Nicholls: It’s four letters that I built a whole goddamn career on. The Mighty Don’t Kneel. We don’t stay down, we might be beaten, but we damn sure won’t be broken. See this? I cracked it open round one, they said, you want stitches. I said, no way. I went to Lawson’s I bought some glue and I glued that shit up and I was here tonight. Rain, hail, shine, hurt or sick, I will be here. I may not win every match, but you rest assured I will leave my heart, my soul and my blood in that ring every time. Like I said before, I’ll say it again, I’ll say it to the day I die, The Mighty Don’t Kneel.
David Finlay: Another one’s bites the dust. That makes me 2-0 in C Block. Still undefeated against every competitor, still in the lead, still the favorite to win the G1 Climax. At this point, I’m pretty damn sure I’m going to clean sweep this thing. You know, I give my father a lot of crap, but gotta give credit where it’s due, he did create the perfect blend of savage on the inside, but nepo baby on the outside. It might be the rich kid in me, but there is nothing I enjoy more than absolutely demoralizing my competition, because I like seeing the look in my opponent’s eyes when they realize there is absolutely nothing you can do to beat somebody like me. I said, I’m going to clean sweep this competition. At this point, I guaran-damn-tee it. Who’s my next opponent? EVIL? EVIL’s my next opponent.
What you said at the press conference the other day, you said it in Japanese, so it took me a couple of days until I got around to even catching wind of it. But you said, something along the lines of, you’re the front of Bullet Club. Now, that’s a hilarious statement to make because you’ve done absolutely nothing this year. My year has been untouchable. Why didn’t you say it in English, EVIL? I know you speak English, you and I used to be roommates on our excursion. We’ve had conversation after conversation, if you had any testicular fortitude, you would have said it to my face, knowing full well I can understand it, but you didn’t. Which brings me to the question on everybody’s mind. Is EVIL in Bullet Club? Where does The House Of Torture lies? I’ll have the answer to that question in Nagana, won’t I. EVIL, you are welcome to bring Dick Togo, but just remember, I’ve got my War Dogs waiting.
Alex Coughlin: The smell of that god damn coconut conditioner is gonna haunt me in my dreams, just like it did the last time we wrestled, and I was a Young Lion. You think you’re getting me down? Do you know who I am? If I would’ve lost and quit, I would’ve been done years ago. But every loss makes me stronger. I figured out the gaps in your game plan, and more importantly, the gaps of mine. Because I never stop adapting, I never stop training, I never stop getting stronger and you are not stronger than me, Jeff, you ain’t.
You caught me while I wasn’t paying attention. I forgot about what it is all about, the championships, the victories, the glories, everything David Finlay promised me. But it isn’t over until it’s over. I got five more matches left in this tournament, my first ever G1. And, Zack, I got you in a few days. I know you’re a bendy little boy. Let’s see how much I can stretch you before you break.
Jeff Cobb: Yeah, you didn’t know Jeff Cobb was a lyricist. That was a strong man, right there, Alex Coughlin. I remember when we fought, two wolves in the height of the pandemic. You were a LA Dojo Boy and now you graduated and you got your big boy shoes on. See, Alex, I appreciate and I’m in awe of your gifts, although you’re with the wrong crowd. It’s all about The Empire. The Empire is Sendai Country. The Empire is all over Japan. You see, Alex, down. That’s 2-0. You guys remember when I went 8-0 in my block? History has a weird way of repeating itself and I feel that in my bones. See, who’s next? Tanahashi. You’re saying that you’re on a redemption tour and you’re trying different things.
You’re looking good, Tanahashi, don’t get me wrong. I say you’re looking pretty deadly there. But that’s not the point. You can change your hair, you can change your style, but the thing that will not change is what happened in this arena during my historic run and that is a loss to the Imperial Unit, Jeff Cobb. You see, Tanahashi, you have a few days rest after tonight. Say your prayers, eat your vitamins, never give up, never surrender, never quit. I’ll tell you what. As soon as I’m done with you, change your shirt. New Japan Pro Wrestling, pay attention and gives this man a new t-shirt. Sometimes quick, sometimes give up and sometimes surrender when wrestling the imperial unit. I hated those who doubt me.
Eddie Kingston: Humble in victory. Humble in defeat. EVIL, there’s no shame in losing to you. You are a former IWGP World Champion. I don’t care the dirty tactics that you did. Dick Togo hit me with a Singapore Cane. No excuses, I used to do that all the time. I get it, cheating is fun at times, I get. It’s the G1, you better do everything you can, even take out my left eye, I get it. You gotta do everything you can to win. I’m down now, I’m down. I’m going to keep my emotions in check because there’s another match coming. I always say, without struggle, there is no progress.
I will come back from this. This is all part of the story folks. Congratulations, EVIL. Congratulations, Togo. Got one up on the Mad King. But I have to move forward. I said this before, I’ll say it again, there was a nun at my church who grabbed my face, Sister Captain, grabbed me by my face with tears in her eyes and said, Eddie, please let go of the past and move forward. I’m going to move forward. On to the next match and I will be better. If my fire still burns, the dream still lives on, one eye bad, it doesn’t matter. Thank you to the fans that came tonight. Thank you for the fans that are watching at home. On to the next one.
EVIL: Alright, we’re off to the races. Eddie Kingston, you said you’re living the dream. Welcome to reality, dumbass. You AEW geeks are even weaker than I thought. David Finlay, you’re up next. Don’t do anything you’re gonna regret. Come and face me head on. I’m gonna test what you’re really made of. Remember that. Let’s roll.
Shane Haste: Where was Mikey? I reached for the tag. I reached for the tag, Mikey. Why Tanahashi Why? You could’ve let me had that one. You and all the rest are alike, you couldn’t let me have that one. You disgust me. You disgust me, you pretty handsome, one direction looking figure, with your sleeve like a beautiful figure skater. Your high hair. I don’t have the hair. If you know Shane Haste, you know, my one mortal enemy, oh, there’s nothing more in this world I hate more than sleeves.
I hate sleeves and Tanahashi, you spat in my face of all things that I hate. I take the sleeves off and everything, and all you did was put silky, sexy smooth sleeves all over your skin. I’ll tell you what, G1 or not G1, Tanahashi I ain’t done with you beautiful Harry Styles sleeve looking twirly figure skater man. One of these days, sooner rather than later, I don’t want you any older. I will beat you Tanahashi.
Hiroshi Tanahashi: It all starts with one win. There are 32 wrestlers in the G1 this year. Eight men in each block. But just like when there were 10 in each block, there are some times where a loss is unavoidable. I’ve experienced that many times. But I feel like I’ve tightened up my game with this win. My abs might need some tightening up, too, sure, but I’m feeling good with this win.
Shane is a wrestler with great physical ability. He’s got the physical skills, as well as height. In that way, he reminds me of Okada. He’s definitely got a lot of potential. I’d like to have him. I would love for him to put that potential to full use. I’m definitely fired up for my remaining league matches. I actually lost my front tooth in my first match. I managed to pull out the win today, though. I guess losing my front tooth is a good omen. Maybe I should knock it out myself before my matches. Just kidding.
Shingo Takagi: How long was our match? All of a sudden, I heard, thirty seconds left. Thirty seconds? What the hell? I tried not to let that affect me, but losing at the wire, thirty seconds, it felt like an eternity. You know damn well I’m gonna give it my all out there. I tried to hold on. I thought I could get a draw. At least a draw, but I got crushed. Henare, you beat me fair and square. You’re damn strong. You may have changed your name and your look, but you’re still the real deal. You may be younger than me, but you have my respect. The G1 Climax. I guess it’s win or lose, after all. You win, or you get your ass kicked.
It’s more like me to go down fighting than to squeak out a draw, anyway. Two losses in a row. I just can’t get a win. No wins. If there was one thing I didn’t expect, not the tattoo or the shaved head, it was that damn headbutt. It was even stronger than last time. The last minutes of the match were as brutal as anything. But Shingo Takagi’s spirit still burns. And my body’s not done yet either, damn it. I just took a seat for a second. We’re in Nagano next. I’ve got Old Man Ishii. When I went to AEW, I said I wanted to be the strongest over 40 wrestler. Not just in Japan, but in the world. I’m not losing to another guy in his 40s, no matter how good he still is. Time for a new game plan.
Aaron Henare: Takagi. Before with our matches together, I always wondered, why are you so tough? Why are you so strong? Why do you hit me so hard? It makes me feel like I’m back two thousand years ago. And after I got these markings, I figured out why. Takagi, you’re a man like me. A warrior from a bloodline of warriors. That’s why I was so attracted to you when you first came to this country. That’s why I went after you. And only just figured that up to now, you’re the toughest tough guy in pro wrestling. There’s no doubt about that. None of those guys in WWE, none of those guys in AEW are as tough as you. The salute from me and my ancestors to you, Shingo. But there’s another tough guy or least he thinks he’s tough. The same guy that talks about his dreams in Japan, his dream of coming to Japan.
Eddie, was it your dream to come here? Was it your dream or were you just messing around on the indies, hoping for something. Because I’ll tell you what. Coming here, New Japan Pro Wrestling, becoming the toughest open weight wrestler in the world by coming to the New Japan Dojo and learning strong style. Not LA Dojo, not Fale Dojo, New Japan Dojo where I learned everything and I could safely say that I’m the toughest part of your head now that I beat Shingo Takagi. But you’ll just run your mouth. This is your first tour. I’ve been here for seven years. You want to know what a dream feels like? I’ll be happy to hit it into your skull in the next match so that you understand I’m not letting the world look at you as the pioneer of foreigners, who brought Japanese Strong Style to the world. No, motherfucker, that’s me.
Tetsuya Naito: My first win the G1 Climax 33. My first match against Jeff Cobb in Hokkaido was a crushing defeat. A complete blowout. But this year, second place can advance from the block, right? So that means if I win every remaining match, I can still make the finals. What, you thought I’d be worried about my loss? Hey, it’s a shame I lost, but I came all the way from Hokkaido to Sendai with my head held high. I lost here in Sendai to Goto last year. And the year before, I had to forfeit due to injury. But the losing streak in Sendai stops here.
I beat Goto so comfortably that I feel like I never even lost to him last year. So, next up, I have Yano in Nagano. There are so many people in the G1 this year that I wonder why some of them even got invited. But even among those guys, Yano stands out like a sore thumb. But hey, I always have fun wrestling him. There’s a part of me that looks forward to fighting him again. So I’m waiting for Nagano with bated breath. I’m gonna have some fun, go 2-1 and carry the momentum into the next one at Korakuen Hall. So, see you guys all in Nagano on Sunday. Adios. Damn, this heat is brutal.
Tama Tonga: What’d you think? Did I earn that win? I think so. I believe so. I know so. I didn’t start on a good foot here in this G1, but tonight makes up for it. So, I’m 1-1, all right, celebration, but not too much. It’s only the beginning of the tournament, so just soak it in for 15 more minutes then on to the next guy. From here on out, there’s one after another. Let’s focus on the next opponent. Just like life, you take one hit at a time, you keep moving after that. Win or lose, you take the punches, you throw fucking punches back, you keep moving forward. I’m that guy. Tama Tonga, I’ve been here for a very long time, punching, taking punches, shit, more than I thrown out.
But guess what, I’m still here. My face is still pretty, knock on wood, no broken jaw, no broken eye, grandma take care of me. Look where I’m at. Final match, main event at the G1, who would’ve thought. They say that Okada was a fluke, but what do you call today? All you fan favorites, you internet fan favorites like Ishii shitting on my name, on my skills. Thank you. Where have y’all been the last two year? You better check my track record, all right. Stop with all this nonsense, bullshit opinions, none of y’all even graduated high school. You think you’re good enough to judge a damn match. Hey, I respect y’all watching me, cool. On to the next guy. Let me celebrate, what do I got 13 more minutes? A two minute promo, wasn’t it? Is this live? I can say whatever I want.
All kinds of words and they couldn’t do anything about it. Well, they can fine me, but here I am. Here I am main eventing. Those guys are not the bosses no more. See, look, if you can’t beat them, out last them. That’s all you can do, that’s life. Grind just grind it out. Grit after grit, bite it down and hang on. Hey, my wrestling is all right. My wrestling is life lessons for you dummies with your keyboards. Some of y’all smart. Most of y’all are dummies, big dummies. But here I am, I’m feeling that energy back. Yeah, I’m feeling that energy, that take no shit from anybody energy. Y’all remember that? I do. If you don’t, I’m here to remind all of y’all. Hey, thank you, I closed out the show today, show stopper, show closer. Tama Tonga, eat those, better yet, eat these.
Checkout Episode 369 of The Hoots Podcast
Pro Wrestling Transcriptions 